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The Lemon Game

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Naruto was silently resting on the couch at Tazuna's house, in the dead of the night. He had his own room because Tazuna had his own room, Tsunami and Sakura were sharing a room, Inari had his own room, and Kakashi and Sasuke were sharing a room. It was just after the battle for the bridge in fact. A huge party would be thrown tomorrow

He was resting until a large book appeared out of nowhere and dropped…right on his groin.

"Sonofabitch!" Naruto shouted rolling onto the floor and smacking his head into it by accident. Whoever said that having a second pain dulls the first was a fucking moron.

In his pain ridden mind, Naruto had a few thoughts, one of the least was 'Why isn't anyone coming down?'

Thinking it to be a prank pulled by that Inari kid, Naruto slowly sat up and picked the rather heavy book up. "By the Log, this thing weighs a good twenty pounds. Is there a way to make it smaller?" as soon as Naruto said those words the book shrank in his hand, which made him blink. It was now the size of a paperback novel.

It was even addressed to him strangely enough. On the front in big bold letters were the words 'TO NARUTO UZUMAKI, READ ME!' Naruto looked the book over, turning it looking for a summary or a title of the book, but it didn't have anything past that writing.

"I hate reading." Naruto said but opened the front page where words began to write themselves.

'To Naruto Uzumaki, if you are reading this then my aim was true and you have been stuck in a video game. If you're not Naruto Uzumaki then you should be reduced to ash by the end of this sentence. Naruto, I have placed you within a video game of my own design that, hopefully, doesn't have any glitches. There will be a few inconsistencies that YOU know of, but everyone else will think of as natural. The point of this video game is simple. Level up and become the strongest ninja known. However, unlike normal video games, you won't be leveling up through combat and learning multiple Jutsu, instead you'll be leveling up by having sex with various women and learning Jutsu that will help you have sex with the women.'

"WHAT!" Naruto shouted before looking around. Sakura wouldn't like it if he would be doing this.

'At this point you have lively shouted and are wondering where your precious 'Sakura-chan' is in case she heard your shouts. The second the book hit the targeted owner, it cast a quick silencing seal around you so that you can hear yourself, but no one else can until you are finished reading. It also boosted your libido or sexual drive so that you will notice other women. A flat-chested howler monkey fan girl won't even level you up if you were at level one, which you're not. Turn the page.’

"Bossy ass book." Naruto said turning the page and then recoiling his hand as he got a rather deep paper cut but he finished turning the page. On the left hand page was writing, and on the right hand side was a bunch of stats. He started to read.

'Yes I, and by the extent of me the book, am bossy. Deal with it. I know all, see all, and hear all. So learn some manners before I change what the Kyuubi gave you between your legs to the size of a cashew.'

Naruto whimpered putting one hand between his legs. While he wasn't sure if he was big or not, he knew a cashew was not.

'Now that that's cleared up, welcome to the Stats page. Strength, speed, intelligence, endurance, acrobatics, chakra levels, chakra control, and luck. These are all numerical values that pertain to you. If we were to put your chakra levels on say…Kakashi’s scale, then the numbers would be much higher, or lower, depending on the circumstances. Strength is the physical strength of your body, the higher it is the harder you hit. Speed is the physical speed of your body; the higher it is the faster you move. Intelligence isn't how much stuff you know, but rather how well you use what you know. Make sure to learn more as your intelligence gets higher or else you'll be sorely limited. Endurance is how long your strength and speed last, low strength but high endurance means you can win against someone with high strength but low endurance. Endurance is also how long you can go in the bed, even having multiple orgasms. Acrobatics is how high you can jump, how much you can bend, and a whole slew of other things. Chakra levels are blatantly obvious. However, as you also increase your intelligence; your chakra levels will go up some as well. Having a Bijuu stuck inside your gut however, your chakra levels are already damned impressive. Chakra control is again blatantly obvious .Luck affects everything. From how well you gamble, to what will show up on missions, luck will also slightly deal with how women handle you. If the woman is a frigid bitch, then a high luck might warm her up to you. Every level, you will get five stat points outside of the ten you start with. You can also increase these stats by learning and training.'

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