Chapter Thirty Nine

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this baby's for @inexistence for the lovely cover. thank you, love! xx

Chapter Thirty-Nine

It’s around three in the morning when I realize I’m not going to fall asleep. Lee is beside me on his vast bed, probably sleeping. He lays on his back and his breathing is slow. We’re not curled up together and if that isn’t bad enough representation of the elephant in the room, maybe the fact that the only thing entangled are our hands is. He’s far enough to fit a person between us. The signs are loud and hard to deny; it’s time to say goodbye.

        I sit up slowly, trying my best to not wake him. I look down at him. His face is masked by the dark and the only light I see is from out the window. I smile because this is the best thing I could’ve ever asked for. A boy that gave me a chance and a romance that’s engraved into my skin. I bring his hand up to my lips and kiss his knuckles lightly. I don’t have regrets.    

        When I try to ease out of his grip, he says, “Don’t.”

        I bite my lip. “I was just getting some water.”

        He turns over so he’s facing me. “Liar.”

        “I’m not lying.”

        “Then, let’s get you some water.” He hops out of bed, like he wasn’t just asleep seconds ago. I give him a strange look and he asks, “What?”

            “Didn’t realize this was the second grade. Lead the way, Mr. Richardson.”

            “Well, I wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t try acting like the hero all the time,” he explains. “Not everyday your girlfriend tries leaving you in the middle of the night with no goodbye.” He pulls on a dark gray shirt and turns on a lamp next to him.

            I cross my arms. “I was not trying to leave, okay. I just…wanted to get some water.” He pulls on some sweatpants before coming over to my end of the bed. Lee suddenly leans in. “H-hey! What’re you doing?” I stutter.

            He looks at me with his eyebrows scrunched. “Turning on the light?” His eyes flicker to the lamp beside me and then back to me. “What’d you think I was going to do?”

            I stand, not so accidentally pushing him to the side. “Nothing!” My face is burning like the sun that’s sleeping. I walk out of his room. “I refuse to let you seduce me to stay even more! I know your little tricks. Enough’s enough.” I turn around. “Understand?”

            Lee looks up from behind me. Nods.

            I continue walking to the kitchen. “Good.” I stop again. He stops behind me. “And let’s try to be mature adults about this situation and not make it climatic and dramatic.” I turn around. It’s good to lay down some rules. We can be civil about this. “Okay?”

            He shakes his head up and down like an obedient puppy.

            I start walking and his footsteps follow but then I stop. I spin on my heel. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” I ask, tilting my head in confusion. Hell, I expected a fight or something. He’s barely disagreed with anything. Is this his way of showing me I win? For once, I don’t want to. What’s wrong with me? I want him to fight for us and yet I am so adamant on ending this. There’s no solution.

            Lee shrugs. And then takes his shirt off.

            “What the hell, Lee?” I shout, putting my hands up in surrender. “I told you that seducing me isn’t going to work so tuck away your abs and tell them to go into hibernation and—”

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