Life Beyond Living.
Chapter One
The begining of the End.
I sit on the floor of the bathroom, sobbing silently. I pull my knees to my chest, and wipe my eyes, more tears pouring out. I feel the cold porcelain against my back, the dirty white tile against my legs. My long dark hair hangs around me like a veil, keeping the world out, and my emotions in. 'Why does everyone treat me like shit? I don't understand! I don't deserve it! I try my hardest to keep everyone happy and yet I'm still treated like garbage!'
I stand slowly and look in the mirror. Look for something happy deep inside me. I stare hard, and only a lonely face stares back at me; A broken soul, needing escape, longing for love. I wipe my hair back from my face and stare into my eyes, looking deep within my heart. There's so much love there, so much to share, but no one wants me.
A fire ignites and the pain increases, anger boils inside me. 'Why!? Someone tell me why! What did I do to be treated like this?!' I clench my fists tightly, grinding my teeth. 'Why!?' Anger overtakes me and I slam my fist into the mirror, I scream as loud as I can. The mirror shatters, and blood begins to drip. I gasp for air and close my eyes. Try to regain control over my emotions.
"I can't live like this anymore. I can't keep fighting for love, when no one wants me. I refuse to live like this any longer." I whisper, my breath coming in pants. I turn the sink on and run cold water over the fresh cuts. The white sink turns red, angry and ruined, like my life. I start to clean the glass shards slowly. I open the medicine cabinet to remove anymore lose pieces when I see them, All my father's medication. I stare at the little orange bottles for a few minutes and wonder what would happen if I just took a few of them. Not many, because I know he needs them, but a couple, 4 or 5.
I pull out one bottle, the name reads "Bystolic" and I remember seeing an ad for it; some kind of blood pressure medication. I open the lid and see that the bottle is full, he won't notice if I take a few. I pour the pills into my hand; Small pink colored ovals; and shove them into my pocket. I close the cabinet and walk out the bathroom, and flick the light off. I'll clean the mess up tomorrow, My dad won't be home anytime soon anyway.
I walk into the kitchen and open the large white refrigerator. Grab a bottle of water and slam it shut. I feel the pills bouncing around in my pocket and wonder what the side effects are going to be. I move slowly through the tiny house and walk into my bedroom, laying down on my bed. I reach into my pocket and pull out the medication. I open the lid on the water bottle and take a deep breath. I stare at the pills for a moment before I pop them into my mouth, take a swig of the water, and swallow.
"I'm ready to die. No one wants me around anyway." I say softly, tears begin to pour from my eyes again. "No one will miss me." I breath softly, and silently, I cry myself to sleep, Alone now, always alone.
