Roommates || Calum Hood

Chapter 44 // Goodbye

•Calum

The splash of cold water on my face instantly woke me up, ridding me of the grogginess from the worst sleep I had ever encountered last night. My muscles were still aching and sore from having to adjust to sleeping on the couch, since Cassidy screamed at me for even thinking of sleeping next to her, and my mind was still racing with thoughts.

I picked up all of my stuff that was in the bathroom and put them in a container to be packed away. I slowly pulled back the shower curtain to get my shampoo and body wash. I was instantly flooded with the memories of two nights ago, when I got to feel every inch of Cassidy's skin and got to feel her lips on mine and hear her laughter echo through the small bathroom. It was something I would probably never be able to experience again, and I hated it.

Honestly, I didn't want to break up with her. I'm in love with her. But the more I thought about it, and the more the guys, who actually had firsthand accounts of failed relationships while on tour, kept telling me about it, the more necessary it felt.

I don't know, it's kind of like when I was going to a new school and the incident happened. I just didn't want us to stop being close being of losing touch. That would hurt much more because the pain would be everyday and you could physically be able to see your relationship fading away. I just chose the route of ripping it off like a band-aid.

My feet stepped along the tops of the carpet, admiring the plush quality that I would probably never be able to feel between my toes again. Not only was I going to miss Cassidy, but I was going to miss this house. I can't believe I used to hate living here. It's been the best summer of my life. I would never be able to forget this roommate agreement and how it completely changed my life around.

I quietly opened the bedroom door to grab my suitcase that I had already packed. I glimpsed over to Cassidy, who was curled up in the fetal position with her eyes closed tightly, accentuating her eyelashes. She looked peaceful and at ease, which made me breathe out a breath of relief since I had heard crying the entire night before, and that had been the most awful sound to ever endure.

It was around four in the morning and I needed to be at the airport very soon. Cassidy was originally supposed to come with me, but I just don't think I can do that anymore. I don't want to wake her up when she finally got a chance to get some sleep and I don't want to hear her yell at me or hear her cry again; it will only break my heart even more.

My hand hovered over her head, debating whether or not I should run my fingers through her hair one last time or touch her beautiful face. I wanted to kiss her so bad. I wanted to hold her in my arms and just tell her how much I love and care about her, even if it seems like I don't. But I obviously have not earned that privilege, and I was hoping that I had made the right decision.

"I'm going to miss you so much, baby girl," I whispered as quietly as possible, biting down on my lip to stop myself from crying. I sighed heavily, picking up the handle of my suitcase and wheeling it away to the front door of the home, exiting it for the last time.

The suitcase tumbled as I chucked it inside my trunk. I sat down in the driver's seat, slamming the door shut behind me, and sped off towards the airport. Some driver would be picking the car up for me later, but honestly, I didn't even care about leaving it behind. I just cared about leaving Cassidy behind, and praying that this little break we were taking would work out in the end.

I hope she doesn't find someone better. Someone who won't make her cry as hard as I did last night. Someone who will be able to put up with her stubborn personality with patience. Someone who will be so good in the bedroom that makes her questions why she ever let a guy like me ruin her opinion on sex. Someone who will love every part of her mind and the way she is always smiling and has a sassy sense of humor and will never leave her side, because that's what she deserves. She deserves the damn world. But I want to be the only person to give her that, not some stupid guy she doesn't have history with.