Imperfect

Prologue

Prologue

I couldn’t remember my address.

33...5? Was it five or was it six? It was definitely three three...something...wasn’t it?

Yes, there were two threes because my sister was three and if there were two Paige’s then that would be the beginning of my address and then it was a...six, right? Because I was six. Two Paige’s and one Nell made the address of my home.

Only...

I just turned six. Did I remember my address before or after my birthday?

My lower lip started to shake and my eyes started to burn, like I was going to cry as I tried to look for my mother. Where was she? “Mom?” I called out, my voice sounding small, the noise of the crowd making it hard for even me to hear it.

We’re going shopping. C’mon Nell, just you and me.

I was at the mall with my mom and she’d wanted something extra special so we were driving for a long time before we stopped. I didn’t know where I was but it was okay because I was holding mommy’s hand.

I looked down at my empty hand, a teardrop landing right in the middle of it.

I let her go.

I let go of her hand and now I was lost and I couldn’t remember my address.

“Mommy?” I said, my voice even quieter than last time, no one even pausing as they walked by me, some of them bumping into me until my back was pressed against the wall, my eyes scanning the people with big bags as they rushed by.

I started to cry harder, my tears falling faster, my legs shaking so hard that I couldn’t stand straight anymore and I let myself sink to the ground, my butt hitting the floor hard.

She’d been holding my hand and then I’d seen a stuffed animal in the window of a shop. It was a dog, so big that my arms wouldn’t even wrap around him and before I knew it, my face had been pressed up against the glass, my hand no longer holding my mom’s, my eyes locked on that dog as I’d asked her if I could have him.

But she hadn’t answered.

She didn’t answer when I asked again and when I turned around...

She was gone.

“Mom!” I tried to shout but my throat felt tight and it felt like an elastic band was wrapped around my chest. The sound of Jingle Bells was much louder than the small noise I’d made. No one noticed me.

I buried my face in my hands, pulling my knees up to my chest, my brain spinning as I tried to remember what I was supposed to do if I ever got lost.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

I blinked, pulling my face from my hands to raise my head and look at the woman crouched in front of me. She was smiling at me, her eyes crinkled at the corners as she reached her hand out to give my knee a pat.

I shook my head as I started to cry harder.

“Are you lost?”

I nodded, unable to speak because of the elastic band around my chest.

“C’mon,” she said, holding out her hand for me to take. “Let’s go find your parents, okay?”

The pain in my chest eased as I placed my hand in the woman’s, remembering that the first thing I needed to do when I got lost was to get help.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” the woman asked as she helped me stand up.

“Penelope,” I said, sniffling.

“That’s a pretty name,” she said, giving me a warm smile.

“T-thank you,” I stuttered, not wanting to argue with her even though I didn’t really like my name. The other kids at school made fun of me, telling me it was weird.

“What about your last name?” Her voice was soft, like my teacher’s, her eyes were calm and her hand was warm and I felt myself relaxing as we began to move through the crowd.

“Watson.”

“Okay, Penelope Watson, we’re going to get you home, alright?”

I started to feel better but for some reason I started to cry harder and then the woman’s arms were wrapped around me, tugging me close to her. She was so warm so I wrapped my small arms around her neck, holding tight. She’d stopped for me when no one else had.

“Get your hands off of my daughter.”

I looked up quickly to see my mother walking towards us, her pretty blue eyes had that look in them that they got when I was in trouble, her hands were on her hips and her mouth was doing that thing where it turned down a little in the corners.

“Mommy!” I yelled, struggling to get out of the woman’s hold and she let me go immediately. I ran to my mother and flung my arms around her, pressing my face into her stomach, the pressure in my chest going away entirely.

“I...thought she was lost,” the other woman said, her voice a little less warm now but I didn’t care. My mom had found me! It didn’t matter that I couldn’t remember my address, my mom had found me!

“Well, she’s not,” my mother snapped, using her angry voice.

“Um, okay, that’s good,” the other woman mumbled before joining the rest of the fast moving crowd and disappearing.

“I was scared,” I said, my tears renewing their force, this time in relief as I pressed myself closer to my mom, never wanting to let her go.

She pressed her hands into my shoulders, forcing me to release my grip before she knelt down in front of me and gripped my arms hard enough to make me wince. When our faces were level, my tears began to slow and I felt my heart do an odd flip inside of me as I saw the expression on her face.

Was she mad at me? I didn’t mean to let her go. Couldn’t she see that it was an accident?

“You let go of my hand, Nell. What were you thinking?” She gave me a slight shake, her fingers digging into my arms a bit harder.

“I-I’m sorry,” I said, my voice cracking.

“I know you are but that doesn’t change the fact that you were a very bad girl. Your father will be angry about this, Nell.”

My lip started to tremble and I started to cry again. “He will?”

“Of course.” She sighed and gave me a hard look before saying, “We don’t have to tell him.”

I brightened and nodded my head eagerly. I hated it when my daddy was mad at me.

“Okay, I promise not to tell him as long as you promise you’ll never tell him either.” I nodded but her eyes hardened and she gave me another shake, making my teeth click together. “Promise me, Nell,” she said, her voice sharp, making me wince.

“I promise,” I whispered.

Finally, she nodded and scooped me up into her arms, planting me on her hip as we walked through the mall.

I wrapped my arms around her neck, just like I’d done to the stranger earlier and I fleetingly thought that she’d been a little warmer than my mommy, her skin just a tad softer.

I shook off the thought, tightening my arms, not caring how warm or cold she was, as long as I had my mommy back.