The Stripper Equation

Frozen Waffles in Time

You would think that the police station would be dead at 3.30 in the morning but it wasn’t.  It was buzzing with activity.  There was a man behind the desk this time.  I walked up to him and spoke.  “Is Noah here?”

The uniformed officer looked up at me.  The badge on his chest read ‘Winters’.  His tongue practically came out of his mouth.  I knew I should’ve taken the time to de stripperfy myself.  I just wanted to get here before I talked myself out of it.  I knew if I over thought it, like I over think everything, I would’ve chickened out.  I was battling between tugging my jean skirt down to make it appear longer or pulling it up to help close the gap that was my exposed navel.  At least I wasn’t wearing my clear, plastic heels. 

“Uh, let me try his desk.  He might be out.”  I couldn’t tell if he was just trying to be really helpful or if he just wanted to stare at me a little longer.  I had to question his motives considering he was staring at my chest while he dialed the phone.  “Hey Noah.  There is someone here for you.”  Winters turned away from me but didn’t lower his voice.  “I don’t know man.  Some hot chick.”  I had to assume by his unprofessionalism that this wasn’t his usual job.

“Excuse me Mr. Winters,” I interrupted.  “You can tell him it’s Lennie.”

Instead of relaying my name into the receiver to Noah, he covered it and offered his name.  “It’s actually Officer Winters.”  He was giving me a flirty smile.

“Oh yeah?  And is there a Mrs. Officer Winters?”  He was middle aged, balding, and had quite a belly on him but if he was going to take the time to flirt with me I may as well return the gesture.

With the receiver still in his hand he replied.  “There are three ex Mrs. Officer Winters.  But there is always room for one more.”  The fact that the man had tricked three women into marrying him was rather surprising.

“Don’t you have reports to type up Harold?”  I heard a voice next to me ask.  I turned my head and was face to face with Noah.

Harold looked at the receiver in his hand, then to Noah.  He looked over to me and slammed the phone down.  “You know if I would’ve told him it was a burly man down here yelling he wouldn’t have come down this quickly.”

 “And for Lennie’s sake it was a good thing I got here when I did.  That’s my kid sister Harold.  We have laws against things like this.”  Noah sounded as if he was disappointed.

I had to fight to stifle a laugh at the expression on Harold’s face.  “Why hell Noah, it’s 3.30 in the morning.  And look at her.  I just assumed she was older.”

Noah finished his sentence.  “Assuming is what got you your temporary gig behind the desk, now didn’t it?”  I was struggling to keep a straight face.  “I thought she was 18,” Noah mocked.  “That’s usually the plea a pedophile uses.”  Noah put his arm around me.  “Come on sis.  Let’s get away from this creep.”

As soon as we turned the corner I let out a laugh.  “That was mean.  He thinks your sister is a teenage hooker.”