Vicarious Paris: One woman's candid account of moving to Paris, with insights on: food, nightlife, and living like a local

Chapter Three: Making sense of the tourist trap (part 2)

Where were we? Oh yes, the F-word.

Switzerland and cheese fondue have a closer association than steaming fondue in France, but it’s definitely a big deal in Paris, and an even bigger deal in the trap. Several restaurants in the trap boast the “meilleur” (best) fondue or raclettes on their menu boards. If you haven’t heard of a “raclette,” it’s a hearty dish that begins with a mound of cheese suspended from a rack. The cheese slowly melts onto a plate of ingredients eagerly awaiting a cheese-bath, an ingenious method that minimizes the risk of congealment. Now unlike an order of fondue that usually only comes with bread, with raclettes you’ll also get meat, potatoes, and sometimes even pickles.

Apologies...I had to step away for a minute to wipe some drool, but now that I’m back, let me tell you this: if multiple restaurants in the same area boast the “best” of anything (and feign a rustic feel with a wood-paneled interior), you can rest assured there is no “best” of any kind happening on the menu. Another sure sign of mediocrity is the presence of proprietors standing outside their restaurants to lure you in, and you’ll experience that at least seven times if you stroll your way through the trap.

And so, if you care at all about getting the best fondue or raclettes in Paris, the kind the locals seek out in droves, do yourself a solid and head over to Chalet Savoyard (58 Rue de Charonne, M9 Charonne). It might mean a twenty-minute trek from the river (métro + walk), and waiting a bit longer for service, but with the local vibe and authentic eats you won’t be sorry.

My next big sore spot with the trap is the plethora of souvenir shops. My distain seems initially confusing, since from every angle of the trap you’d think you were in souvenir heaven (a heaven that consists of twenty or so shops within a comfortable walking distance). This area is basically your one-stop shop for Eiffel Tower trinkets and Paris-themed mugs.

That is...if you don’t mind paying a little bit more for a little less variety.

For slighter lower prices and a bigger assortment, check out the streets of Montmartre, just below the grassy hill at the foot of the Sacré-Coeur basilica. It’s here that I found an affordable Paris bandana for my cat. You know...if you’re into that sort of thing. There’s an even greater selection at the top of the hill behind Sacré-Coeur. ‘Twas here that I procured a child-sized beret for my niece (what good are toddlers if you can’t dress them up?). And so, when you’re visiting Sacré-Coeur, be sure to pop into the souvenir shops in the charming little streets just behind it (Rue Norvins and beyond). These shops will of course have the usual stuff, like the Eiffel Tower models in every size, but more than that, you’ll encounter an art-lover’s souvenir dream. There’s everything from the retro prints of Paris you see for sale down by the river (but cheaper here), to calendars and coasters and more, in a larger variety of prints than you’ll find anywhere else. Oh and let’s not forget the affordable array of sketches depicting all the famous landmarks, because yes, they are here.

The best part of all?

The more prints you buy the cheaper they are; volume discount, yo!

Before I forget, there’s also an outdoor gallery, where local artists sell magnificent Paris-themed work; it’s definitely worthy of a slow meandering stroll on a breezy day, and not entirely out of one’s price range, if original artwork is your thing. I have much more to say on the neighbourhood of Montmartre (particularly on the quieter streets for strolling), but that’s to come.

So let’s re-cap: if you skip the souvenir shops that dominate the trap, you’ll save some money, you’ll have a wider variety of options, and you might even get some fresh air.

Back to the topic of food...let me touch on a certain something you may find yourself eating long after dinner, when it’s necessary to soak up the alcohol coursing through your veins: