An Average Day In the Life of Crazy People

This all begins by Hayey and I going door to door in giant banana suits, and as soon as the door is opened, Hayey and I jack them and put a crown on their head. We scream, "YOU ARE THE NEW BANANA KING" and then sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star while horribly square dancing. When this said person attempts to stop us in our dancing and other shenanigans, we shall shout "LEEEL LEEL LEEEEEL", which is soon to be our war cry. We flail our arms while shouting, and run away like madmen. But we return as quickly as we disappeared, hysterically ring the doorbell and knock on the door, and then run into the house once the door is open. At this point, we both scream our war cry long with "OH MIGHTY BANANA KING, WE LOVE YOUUUU" and hop onto their head. "PIGGY BACK RIDE. PIGGY BACK RIDE, OH MIGHT BANANA KING. I SAID PIGGY BACK RIDES GOD DAMMIT." etc. etc. When either refuse or comply with our wishes, we begin to beat them with canes and walkers we have stolen from old people. While beating them, we shout "YOU'RE A HORRIBLE BANANA KING. LEEEEEL". We then proceed to steal all of their Goldfish Crackers, because they smile too fucking much. And we eat them. All of them. Every. Last. One. While the banana king is trying to call the police, I tackle them, put them in a headlock, and whisper into their ear... "Go to sleep... Just take a little nap..." while Hayey steals their money and burglarizes their house of awesome stuff. She then comes up and kicks this said Banana King IN THE FAAAAAACEEE. We then force them to eat oranges we had earlier injected with clown herpes, and give this said person Jojo-Aids. We watch in wonder as our banana King sleeps in peace... until they begin to come to. We stand them up, run around them with flailing arms screeching a chorus of "LEEL LEEL LEEL". Once they begin to freak out and realize this is not a dream, we eat their precious pet cat alive. The cat has no idea what the fuck is going on, but hey, it's delicious so it doesn't have to know. That'll be our little secret. After our meal we kick this banana kings dog and flip the couch with a chorus of war cries, because that’s just what we do, mother fuckers. After that we run out of the house as fast as we can. Naked. We find a sewer to hide out in for the rest of our lives as convicts, for our Mighty Banana King have pressed charges for rape, trespassing, among many, many other illegal things we did to him/her. We make camp and start a fire made from pure Banana-power and reminisce of this day. BASK IN THE GLORY. We then spit into the fire with our mighty Gasoline-Spit and then once again scream our war cry. The police, who are at this point investigating the sewer, hear us and proceed to run at us. Hayey and I, high from the fumes of our banana-fire, sprint towards the po-po man and pretend he is our long-lost father. The cop, whom has no idea what the fuck is going on, just stares at us in utter confusion. We hug him in tears, and amidst the confusing we then rape the cop and in turn gifting him the joy that is Jojo-aids. We declare him the new Banana King. We search around for our banana suits, and put them on as fast as fucking lightning, man. We run in circles around our newest Banana-King with "LEEEEL LEEL LEEL LEEEEEEL". We then stab the cop in the eye, just because we can. We kill the cop and roast hi mover our glorious banana-fire. We take his bones and turn it into a cage, which will be used much later. We set off on a journey to find our original banana king. We search miles upon miles...And once we come upon his/her house, we set on fucking fire with Banana-fire. We roast many marshmallows and make s'mores. Although they taste of propane and kerosene we had used to set the house on fire, they were delicious nonetheless. We run into the fire in hopes of saving our Banana King. We succeed and bask in each other's glory. We are untouched from the flames of the Banana-fire. We scream on the top of our lungs "LEEEEEL LEEL LEEL LEEL EKDFNAJJFBAUSDBF" (we had both spazzed out of happiness). As we began to foam from our mouths out of sheer excitement, the firemen show up. And DAY-UM, are they sexy as hell. We toss our original Banana King back into the fire, and go after the sexy firemen. We run around them in circles while screaming our infamous war cry. The firemen say, "Whoooa, sloowww dooowwnn" and we said "FUCK NO" AND KICK THEM IN THE FACE WITH OUR *ENERGY LEGSSS*. We impregnate the sexy firemen and make them have BABIES. LOTS OF BABIES. FOUR HUNDRED BABIES. And they love it. Every single second. So we then give the orgy another go, and all of the firemen die instantly of its amazingness at climax. They couldn’t handle the Banana-power. Hayey and I look at each other and wonder what we are supposed to do next... then simultaneously skip into the fire, which is still blazing ferociously, and scream our war cry while skipping in circles. While in the fire, a magical prince named Blake comes in on a manly white horse. In the gayest tone of voice possible, he says, "Hey y'all, what's up gurrrrl?” Behind him, a little blue puppy stalks in and then tackles Blake to the ground while beating him to a pulp. As Hayey and I laugh at Blake’s misery, our original Banana king emerges from the ashes. Wanting revenge, the Banana King creates a .50cal out of ashes. But before he can shoot, Hayey and I tackle him to the ground and vigorously Tickle-rape him. He pees his pants, and laughs himself to death. LEEEL LEEL LEEL. After this occurrence, we go back to the brawl between the Blue Puppy and Blake. We treat ourselves to propane-kerosene s'mores while laughing. When we decide enough is enough, we kick the blue puppy IN THE FACEEE multiple times until he gets off of Blake, who at this point is the same color of the puppy due to bruises. We then proceed to drag Blake by the collar to a Vegas Wedding chapel, and have Blake and Hayey married. I, of course, am the Maid of Honor, while the Blue Puppy is the Best man. When Elvis says the famous line of "You may now kiss the bride", I run around the couple while screaming the infamous war cry while Hayey and Blake are making out. The blue puppy and I attempt to pass the time with a thumb war while Blake and Hayey are getting it on in a pew of the chapel. I win the thumb war every time because the little blue bitch doesn't have thumbs. Awe yeeeeah. Muffins. The newlyweds head off to Cancun for a honeymoon while I partied it up with everyone in sight in Vegas. The blue puppy leads a then-depressed life when he realizes he doesn't have thumbs. He goes to a cheap, dark-alleyway plastic surgeon and has breast implants size DD. He becomes a stripper and acquires a lot of singles, becomes a heroin addict, and sexes it up with everything that has a heartbeat. When they return from their honeymoon, Hayey and Blake begin to tell me everything that had happened. All of a sudden, Hayey and I simultaneously stab Blake in his eyes. I the right, Hayey the left. We implant Eye-boobies where his pupils once were, so that when people look at his eyes, he will say "HEY STOP LOOKING AT MY BOOBS", while the person can say "BUT LOLOL THEY'RE YOUR EYES TOO LOLOL" and do an arm-flail. We then throw a massive parade for Blake and his Blue Puppy for their breast implants. Once the parade is over, we kill everyone that isn't Blake, his blue puppy, or a sexy fireman. We burn the city to the ground and kidnap the Stanley Cup, while screaming "FLEE~ LEEL LEEL" and arm-flail the whole way. We run for miles, until we cross upon a cave. We then hide in the cave from the *LAWWW* and play thumb wars while the blue puppy loses every single game because he still doesn't have thumbs. In his anger and depression, the blue Puppy divides by zero and blows up the universe. And for a split second, we all manage to win the game. And that's an average day for me and Hayey. The End. :D