How to Get a Good Man

It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman. This is written from a man's perspective to help frustrated women that are sincerely looking for a good man but keep finding losers.

Steps:

Be yourself. When you meet someone for the first time, you may be tempted to be someone you're not, such as "putting on your best face". There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. However, it is possible to take this too far and in turn repel men. The same applies with myths about dressing sexy and excessive flirtation. If you do not respect your body, you will only attract men who have a similar lack of respect for you and your body, and a good man will find it more difficult to take you seriously. Be yourself, and a real man will respect you.

Have a life. Desperate, dramatic, and clingy relationships are often rooted in a feeling of need and desperation for a man to fill your life. Even if you have low self-esteem, but work over time to build it. Pursue your goals, explore your passions, have an interesting life, do things that take you outside your boundaries. Don't put up a tough exterior to get over shyness; gradually learn to build trust with a network of people, so that your boyfriend isn't the only person you open up to and share your life with.

Be relaxed and cool. Most guys hate it when girls are possessive, bitchy, clingy, controlling, etc. Learn to relax, and have fun. We all have too much going on in our lives; don't be the high maintenance "drama queen". Having a woman around who makes life more difficult than enjoyable will make a man lose interest. If you do things like show genuine concern when the man has had a rough day, it will earn his respect and go toward winning him over and a good man will reciprocate. Remember that most men, especially the good ones, are looking for someone with whom they can be comfortable, and not someone who is always intense.

Realize differences in communication. Men can often miss the subtle messages that women send in their body language. Don't judge a guy because of this, it's just the way men are. Subtle body language like smiles only make a man think that you might like him; he can't assume it means you're interested without being accused of being a self-absorbed jerk. To drive the point home, gradually introduce more "obvious" body language like playful touches on the arm, playful banter and teasing, winks, inside jokes, playfulness, or (when you know him better) attempts to find a man's ticklish spots. (Don't be afraid to kindly tease him over minor things - women who pretend a man is perfect are regarded as weak in their eyes.) Flirting will not only show him you like him enough to get that physical and playful, but also help to break the physical barrier and allow a man to feel more comfortable making a few advances to you. But don't forget to look at how he is reacting to you.

Take a good look at yourself. Psychological studies have shown that people seek out partners to fill a psychological void. Sometimes these voids are unhealthy, for example a woman who is unhealthy will actually seek out any man for the "high of seduction" or to get attention and feel desirable. Look inside yourself and ask yourself why you want a man so bad, be truly honest with yourself, and if need be talk to a therapist about this. A woman with issues only attracts a guy with issues as well, and a good, real man doesn't want anything to do with a woman who has more issues than TIME magazine. If you want a good, healthy relationship with a real man, make certain that your own mental state and intentions are healthy.

Drop the games. Nobody likes a partner who plays "head games". This is deceptive, and will hurt anybody who trusts you. Be real, don't play games, and good men will respect you and may even pursue you. Playing head games will only make good men run away. Remember the communication thing? That is especially true here. If you like a guy, don't push him away and act like you don't like him. Tell him. Yes, there are some men who do like the thrill of the chase, but all good men genuinely want to respect you and your wishes, and will leave you alone if you insist on it. Remember, men communicate directly, if you act like you don't want him, he'll think you don't want him.

Treat him with respect. This is the most important thing of all. Men hate being around a woman who emasculates them, and a good man won't take long to leave such a woman. Don't be afraid to help your man feel good about himself. A little known secret is that men are just as insecure as women. If he's with his friends or family be open to opportunities to let your man look like "the man". It will win his love and respect.