Long Days of Free

Chapter 3

Mom comes home from the lab early today. I am sitting on the beach, lying on a towel and staring at the sky, like I have done basically for the entire week spent here. I saw Ben and Alex once, on the beach, pulling out their kayaks and paddling across the dark teal Atlantic. When they got back, they saw me. They only said hello, then went on their way.

Mom goes inside for a moment, then comes back out, and walks the the beach. Her lab coat and shoes are off, and she's back to being Mom. She sits beside me, digging her toes into the sand then bring them back up again to create a sandy waterfall off of the cliff of her toenails. I look ahead, to the water, and so does she. 

"Jasmine," she starts, turning her head towards me, the wind blowing her little dark curls over her face. She brushes her bangs aside.

"You've been sitting here for days," she says, concerned. "It seems like you have a lot on your mind. We hardly have spent time with each other yet."

"I'm sorry," I say, though I don't know what I'm sorry for, or if I'm sorry at all. This summer is about me. 

"I know it's tough, with me and your dad split, and Samantha and all. Our family is so...apart." she says. "But It'll be okay,"

"It's just, I'm so tired of you and Dad telling me it'll be okay! When is it going to be okay, for real? Because telling me it'll be okay is not making it okay! I'm so sick of all of this!" I'm yelling and crying now and the same time. I'm standing up and picking up my towel, shaking the sand off of it and into the wind. Mom stands too.

"Jasmine, please. You have to trust me. It might not seem like it now, but it really will be okay. Be patient. Trust me." She goes in for a hug but I resist.

"Trust you? Like I trusted my lifelong best friend Natalie before she told me that she didn't want to be friends anymore. Like I trusted Eli when he said he had a crush on me, but then had a fling with Natalie behind my back. Like I trusted Dad when he said he wasn't over you, but then got married again.  Like I trusted that we'd all be a family forever." I inhale shakily. "I'm all alone now. So trust? Never again," 

Mom doesn't say anything. She just hugs me, on her tiptoes, the way I like it. I put my face into her sweater and continue my sobbing. My self pity. I feel horrible about feeling so sorry for myself. But I think it's justified.

The night is slightly awkward. Mom takes me out to dinner at a little restaurant by the water. We avoid any talk of earlier today. I can tell Mom wants to settle it. But I don't. I don't think it can be settled. 

When we get home and I start for the ladder, Mom speaks.

"I know this may sound harsh, Jasmine, but please. It's time to stop the moping and self pitying. I know you're hurt,  but I can't take it anymore. I'm sure that's why your father sent you here. It's getting old. Life is what it is, okay? I know things haven't been in your favor lately, but  don't expect it to get any better by sitting by yourself all day. Tomorrow I'll be at the Lab early, and stay there late. I have a lot of work to do. Please do something with yourself okay? You need it,"

"Okay," I say. I think she was surprised by my reply, that I didn't put up a fight. But I don't care. I don't care what she wants or thinks is best. I know I shouldn't be mad at Mom. But I came here thinking that she would understand. Clearly, she doesn't.

This summer hasn't exactly started out on the right foot. Maybe I should just return to Boston. 

***

I awake in the morning, and I scream. Over my bed is Ben, standing there, with his hands folded. He looks surprised that I was so startled. 

"What are you doing?" I yell.

"We're taking you kayaking. " He says oh so nonchalantly. 

"Me and you?" I ask.

"And Alex. It's about time you do something else besides lie on the beach all day."

Mom's lecture is still ringing in my ears from last night. I should be mad at Ben for saying such a thing that resembles last night's talk, but my thoughts are too hazy. 

"Get on your clothes," Ben says,"we'll meet you out on the beach." He turns and goes down the ladder. 

I jump up with sudden enthusiasm and I cannot comprehend how I got such energy. And for a moment, I think, maybe Mom and Ben are right. I can't just sit here all summer and expect life to be better. Soon I brush off my last thought. I dismiss the idea of Mom being right quickly. 

I grab my bikini, which I am dreading having to wear in front of two boys. I put a white v-neck over the suit and grab a pair of rolled up jean shorts. I never wear them, but I have to admit to myself that I'm trying to look good, for Ben and Alex.

I run out the door of the cottage, not bothering with shoes, to meet Ben and Alex standing by two kayaks on the beach in front of my house.

"Here, we'll go in this one, and I'll paddle," Ben says. Alex has a single kayak that he drags into the water alongside us.

We glide across the deep, infinite ocean. I remember that I hate kayaking. I hate being on the surface of something as deep and unknown as the ocean. Who knows what's under us? I put my hand out to touch the salty water, but I draw it back once I feel how cold it is.

"It's cold," Say to Alex, across from me.

"Welcome to the Atlantic," he says, chuckling. 

"Ever been kayaking before?" Ben turns to look at me behind him.

"When I was like six, my dad tried to take me, but I refused. The ocean used to really scare me," I say, lying a little by saying that it used to scare me. I am still terrified, even now in the safety of the kayak with Ben and Alex.

"Scared?" Alex says, laughing,"I mean I guess I can see why." 

It is nice. To talk to people. To laugh a little. To do something, even if I am scared to. I like Ben and Alex, and hopefully they like me. 

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Hi! Please comment, vote, and become a fan! This is the first story that I really actually feel committed to. 

The romance part will come along soon, I promise, hehe. If you have any suggestions than please feel free to let me know. I have plans for the plot of this story, but I'm open to suggestion.