Cat Fight In The Kitchen-Wattpad Rant

Things that Aren't Actually Romantic

I've come to terms that I'm not a romantic person. But you've probably figured that out from the fact that I'm a really cold person. I'm just...I'm more thoughtful.

So you guys might not agree with a lot of what I say in this rant but I thought it'd be cool to talk about anyway. And maybe it'll inspire some twists or something that you guys can think of. So with that, we'll discuss: Things that Aren't Actually Romantic

I see tons of these romantic clichés everywhere and I just...felt like making a list and explaining why I don't think they're romantic.

1.       Knowing everything about someone and using it to score a date.

Okay, this kind of sounds weird, but let me explain. You ever read those stories where the guy asks out the girl (even though they don't talk) and he does it by telling her all the little things she does that he notices?

Like "You wanna go get coffee with me, because I know you really like the pumpkin spice mocha lattes at Starbucks (is that a thing? I don't drink coffee...) and I think it's really cute how you always wear two different socks and you spend two hours trying to get your eyeliner right and it always looks perfect, and you play with your hair when you're nervous, and you always wear your red converse because you think they look cute with everything" and blah blah blah? Ever read that?

I don't find that romantic. I find it...creepy.

There's this guy in my apartment building that literally once asked me out for "some water". And when I called him out on the weird suggestion his answer was "Well, I noticed you don't drink coffee, and I'd ask you out for a beer, but you only ever go to bars with girlfriends and I'm assuming you don't go for dates, because I've never seen someone come back with you, and I've only seen the walk of shame once (what he saw wasn't a walk of shame in that sense. It was a "oh shit, I couldn't drive home, I crashed with a friend), so that was a no, and otherwise you only drink water. So I thought you'd like to get some water with me sometime".

My friends thought it was cute. I thought it was creepy. I'd never spoken to this guy other than the, casual "hey," when we bump into each other in the laundry room. How does he know this about me?

(Also, it apparently wasn't appropriate to ask him if he was the neighborhood watch or if he was just really into creeping on people. My friends were horrified when I told them that was my response instead of "oh my God, yes! You are too sweet!" Too bad. I did it anyway).

2.       Texting/talking constantly/ can't spend more than five minutes away from each other.

I get tired when the characters are constantly thinking about each other or having to talk to each other or texting or calling or whatever the hell else. Don't these people have lives outside of each other?

I'll admit, I do text my best friend at least once a day just to say "what's up?" But it's not an all-day affair. My brother used to constantly text his girlfriend all day every day.

And I think that's rude. If I'm hanging out with my friends, I'm gonna hang out with my friends. I'm not going to pretend that my goddamn phone is more important than anything else. That's very rude and disrespectful. I hate people that are always on their phones. Assholes.

I also really had the cheesy texts. The "I love you so much, can't wait to see you again. You're the light of my life and the best thing that's ever happened to me, I don't know where I'd be without you. You're my everything." Whatever.

If people read my texts to my best friends, they would see a lot of "who's the bitch now" texts with some really mean/horrible jokes. That's about as romantic as we get.