Love Sucks

Love Sucks - 33

I couldn't stop writing. I just could NOT stop writing. Seriously. Couldn't - can't pry myself away from my computer screen. I'm thinking these are signs that I need to, oh, I don't know... get a life? xD

I joke, I joke. But I am back. Again. With a long chapter for ya... it's like, three thirty in the morning for me right now, here in London, so there are gonna be punctuation mistakes, spelling mistakes, bad grammar... the usual in one of my average chapters then, aye? ;D

*Kicks a stone on the floor awkwardly* ANYWAY. Uhhhhm, yeah. It has only been two days since I uploaded, but a certain part of this chapter I'd planned a few chapters ago, and for me, it was difficult to write down. I didn't like it, but it's not my past, it's Cathy's..

Gawd, I need to shut up. So yeah. Here's that chapter for you (finally) ..

Chapter thirty-three;

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My Chemical Romance – S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W

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The morning sun was peaking just past the horizon. The skies were glowing orange, and from within the trees I could see Cathy's silhouette sat on the front porch, watching the same sunrise as I was. As I sat against a tree, cloaked from Cathy's vision by the forests' shadows, I wondered what she was thinking about that made her breath so unsteady as she tried to hold back the sobs.

I'll go back later today, I promised myself. But how could I be so sure? For three days straight I'd been saying the same thing to myself over and over, as if somehow it would make the guilt disappear. For I had spent one of the three nights I'd been away from Cathy, with Scarlett.  Nothing serious; I hadn't... slept with Scarlett. Not in that way. We settled underneath the big willow tree where I'd met her earlier that night, and for hours, until dawn, we were in an embrace. One that wasn’t harmful, but it made me angry now to think about how difficult it was to leave her the next morning.

"Are you okay?"

My head snapped up, and I watched on as Ashton emerged from within the house. His face was masked with concern, and as he saw Cathy sitting on the front porch, he tucked the cigarette packet back into his back pocket, and took a seat next to her. I shuffled closer a little, palms pressed against the bark of the tree, trying to refrain myself from bursting into view and holding Cathy so close it might crush her. Because I wanted to be where Ashton was sitting; I wanted to hold Cathy, but she wasn't the only girl on my mind anymore, and that hurt.

As if on cue, Ashton looked up towards the trees, scanning them, until finally his eyes met my own. He said nothing, did nothing to indicate he knew I was here. Instead, he pulled Cathy closer, knowing he was the only one that could hold her like that when I wasn't there to do so myself.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I held the mug of fresh coffee so tightly in my hands that my palms were tingling, burning.

Today was the day I could go home, back to the house where my mother was murdered. I'd have to pack up all of her things, rearrange the house so that it didn't hurt so much when I roamed the halls, and begin to arrange her funeral. Today was the day I needed Alex the most.

That was a lie. The past three nights had been restless, sleepless... painful without him. I ditched his bedroom, and resorted to the spare room. I couldn't decide whether I was more angry than upset, or more upset than angry. He'd lied to me, Ashton said. Then where had he been these days? When would he be back?