The fucking level of disrespect last night was too damn unreal to be true, like honestly does this nigga have any fucking common sense ? Less than two minutes before that thirsty ass trick walked into the studio were we not locked up in the closet fucking each other ? Then once she walked in there his ass completely forgot I was sitting right across from him separated by plexiglass, his face lit up like a little boy seeing a butt ass naked woman for the first time . Kissed each other as if it was as special as the first time and grabbed her as if they been together for years when really they’re just rekindling their “relationship” . Never the least however he grabbed, touched, and kissed her it was still fucking disrespectful . I would NEVER do some shit like to him or anybody for that matter, usually I would never let something like this get to me but right now I’m trunt the fuck up . Place yourself in my shoes, you just let your bestfriend smash you the closet after you been telling him his privileges to your body is done, then out of no where his ex – girlfriend that he obviously has deep feelings for walks in like it’s nothing and kisses her and feels on her like nothing has changed between them . Who does that shit ? Fuck out of here with that .
What is this clear liquid falling from my eyes ? I know damn well I’m not fucking cry right now, this is some bullshit I have no reason to cry . This is the first time I’m crying over some dude, this shit ain’t like me I always hold it together . Being emotional like this isn’t me, I don’t cry over bullshit . But I guess there’s a first time for everything, I shouldn’t be letting this bother me like this . It ain’t like we’re together, it’s not like anything should’ve been expected from this, and it’s not like I should’ve expect him to realize what he did after all he’s still a punk ass little boy what the fuck was I thinking that he would do better .
Over the past two weeks Chris has called and texted me but I just rather not have anything to do with seeing his face right now, even when he stops by the house I tell my parents to tell him I’m not there when really I’m peeking out the curtain in my room watching him leave out the driveway . I honestly believe that he hasn’t even come to terms with why I been M.I.A with him, maybe I’m just over thinking things but regardless I know I was disrespected and that’s all I need to act like a bitch right now .
“Baby can I talk to you for a minute ?” my Mother said knocking on the door
I quickly wiped my eyes and fanned my face so the redness would go away so it wouldn’t look like I was just crying . “Yeah what’s up ?”
“Iight enough time has passed for you to tell me what’s going on, why you have me keep lying to that boy telling him that you ain’t here ?”
I laughed a little “Cause I just don’t feel like talking to him, I don’t want to be bothered by anyone it’s not just him .”
“Mhmm, baby I was born at night not last night . What did he do, can come on tell me . I can’t remember you coming to me about boy problems .” she said laying out on my bed
“Cause I’m smarter than that, I never had any boy problems cause I never kept them around long enough to be problems .”
“I was young once I been hurt before, I cried just like you were .”
“Pause, I wasn’t hurt by anybody and yeah okay I was crying but I wasn’t crying cause somebody messed with me . It’s just one of those days Ma, that’s it .”
“But you been like this for the past two weeks in counting, let me tell you something . I gave birth to your ass and I’m also so woman, I can tell when you hurting . When I was around you age I had this guy that I liked a lot but I wasn’t the type of person that lets her feelings be known, I’m not the one to make the first move . If you want me, you better make an effort to get me . The point being is that this guy was what I thought was my everything but he was only a wolf disguised in sheep’s clothing, he toyed around with my emotions knowing that I had a thing for him . But once your father stepped into my life and the guy saw that he was losing me he started to change, but by then it was too late . I was much happier with someone who appreciate my affection and one kid later I’m still happy with someone who loves waking up to my face everyday and still appreciate .”