The Canoninity of Quackburn and Mitchotte.

It had been ten years since I had stepped onto her old school grounds. They were going on a tour of the school before heading across to the club for the reunion. I'd been in town a few days and was yet to meet up with any old friends. I lost contact with most after I went off to university and was curious to see how their lives progressed after high school. Looking around the group I tried to suss out who was successful, who was married, who was gay, who was going all Romy and Michelle and faking it.

Of course, I could instantly pick who was most successful. Everyone knew Quack's story. After graduating from the University of Melbourne with a Bachelor of Commerce Miffington Quack Quack headed off to the London School of Business and Economics. Kicking arse in Britain for a few years she came back to live the high live in Melbourne, but not before being knighted by the Queen. Now she's one of the top shareholders of the Reserve Bank. Bloody billionaire she is. Massive playboy too, guys in and out of that penthouse apartment at all hours of the day and night. Through the papers constantly with her latest string of high profile affairs. Of course the public adored her. Despite her questionable lifestyle the woman could do no wrong.

I hadn't seen her since our second year of uni, she in Melbourne, and me in Sydney. Of course the magazine had done many a feature on her in my years there. Just last month she was our cover girl for the third time. As Editor it would usually be customary for me to meet our most famous featurettes, but I always seem to be caught up in other business when it comes to our Miffington issues. Luckily I have trusted workers who are more than capable of handling a few shoots and interviews. I wonder if the magazine will come up tonight, assuming we chat.

Back to the group though. We were allowed to bring plus ones, so there for dozens of unrecognisable faces. Or have I just forgotten everyone?

"Tongue, is that you?" asked a voice from behind me.

"Ohmygosh, Mal? Wow, it's been a long time. What have you done with yourself?" Just then I noticed the handsome fella standing quietly behind my old friend.

"Well, my lovely little tulip," she replied, using our old pet names, "I married myself a tennis player. Tongue, this is Rafa. Rafa, honey, this is my old friend Tongue."

"You married Rafa? How did I not make this connection? We totally did a WAG feature in the last issue!"

"Well, we've kept in on the down-low. Well, in Australia anyway. Hard to keep t out of the tabloids back in Spain. You wouldn't believe how crazy these fans get."

"Mallory, I was friends with you for years, I know how crazy Rafa fans get. O you're living in Spain?"

"Oh yeah, when Raf's off. We're travelling a lot for tournaments and such. So how has your life gone since you tripped up to Sydney so long ago?"

"Well, I'm still in Sydney. I certainly haven't married any number one ranked sports stars. I'm actually Editor of Brilliance Magazine. Ohmygosh, you'll never guess who works under me. Gigi Carrot."

"Ohmygosh, seriously? I hope you're the boss from Hell."

"Of course I am. Do you expect me to be nice to her? She always acts like we're still best friends."

"What a joke. Speaking of jokes, who do you think bombed out most in this lot?" But before I could answer our attention was taken by a man up front.

"And that concludes our tour of the school. If you could all make your way over to the club, the reunion will take place in the auditorium."

Mal and I were separated on our way out of the school. The club was right next door, so I wasn't in a hurry to get there. It was nice to catch up with Mal. It was hard to believe she actually married Rafa. How on Earth did she pull off making her stalking look like casual coincidences? Anyway, that was another success story for the year. Hopefully a bit of mingling once I got to the club let out all the juicy secrets. As a journalist I am a master of mingling and getting out sordid information.

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Armed with a glass of champagne I walked firmly up to a group of what looked like my old friends. After a round of hellos the attention was off me and I was clear to just stand and listen in.