Part 16

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He throws the blankets off his legs, muttering, “What in the hell was that..?”

He pads down the hall to Nakia’s room, opens her door and flicks the lights on. Nakia sits up, her blonde hair disheveled, blinking groggily. “Caleb?”

            He says angrily, “Did you stand in my doorway just now?”

Nakia squints against the light. She looks confused, “What? What are you talking about?”

            His eyes are wide and his hands shake. He strides forward and grabs her roughly by the arm, hauling her out of bed. “Don’t screw with me! I’m serious, Nakia!”

            She shrieks in confusion and fright, struggling to get out of his grip.“Caleb I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let go, you’re hurting me!”

            Anger rushes through me again, and the light overhead flickers on and off sporadically. I can feel the electrical charge in my bones, responding to the raw emotion. It’s euphoric. A smile creeps across my lips as Caleb’s body jerks in surprise, his gaze moving towards the flickering light. The light stops, the room is dark, and he drops Nakia’s arm and bolts down the hallway. I laugh. Nakia stands there for a second, her pajamas rumpled, eyes bleary with sleep. She looks frightened. “Bree?” she whispers, and I draw closer, but her eyes are searching the room, like she’s looking for me. She doesn’t know I’m right in front of her. She rubs her arm where Caleb gripped it, eyes wide. Her face is pale. Then I see her square her shoulders, like she’s gathering courage, and she says,

            “If you are here, scaring Caleb…” her red lips curl up at the corners. “Give him hell, Bree. Scare the shit out of him.”

I can’t help but grin. She almost sounds like the old Nakia again. The girl I grew up with.

            Caleb is in the living room, every light blazing. Sitting on the couch with the TV blasting cartoons. He has a beer in one hand and he’s holding onto it so fiercely that his fingers have gone white. His eyes are wide and staring.  He mumbles to himself about bad dreams, Larry told him he would have bad dreams.

            I’ll give you bad dreams, Caleb Grant.

            I work myself up, telling myself over and over that he killed me, that he’s planning to rob my parents, that he’s going to go from hitting Nakia once in awhile to full on beating the shit out of her. All true. I kindle the flame of anger in my belly and turn it into an inferno. Then I lash out, kicking at the wall like I did last time.

            The toe of my sneaker connects, and the thud it makes sends wild excitement shooting through me. Caleb jumps, and his face drains of blood. He holds his beer bottle up like he’s going to use it as a weapon. I laugh wildly, kicking the wall again, connecting again, and again, till I have a deep booming rhythm going, looking over my shoulder at the effect it’s having on Caleb. He’s sitting in his chair as if someone has frozen him to the spot, eyes wild and huge, mouth hanging open. The beer bottle slips from his fingers, rolls off the sofa cushion and shatters on the ground. I’m laughing still, and my anger slips a little, the thumps grow quieter, until my shoe no longer connects and slips through the wall. I yank my foot out, swearing.

            In the silence, Caleb reaches one shaky hand into his pocket and flips open his cell phone. I can hear ringing on the other end, and then he says, his voice high and quavering, “Mom? I need to come over.”

            He called his Mommy. I laugh so hard that I double over, tip forward and nearly fall through a wall.

            I visit Sam by the river the next morning. We sit on the bank and enjoy the sunshine on our backs, even if we can’t feel much more then a soft glow. I tell him everything that’s happened, how I scared Caleb. Sam doesn’t laugh when I tell him about it, instead he studies my face gravely.

            “You’ve changed.”

            “What?” I blink at him, disappointed by his reaction. “What are you talking about?”

Sam reaches out and runs a finger down my cheek. His face is sad. He’s disappointed. “You used to be pure and now your anger is slowly taking over. You have to stop this. You have to come across with me.”

            “What are you talking about, ‘I’m not pure’? What is that supposed to mean?” I protest angrily.

            “If you continue this way, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll tether yourself to him. You won’t be able to cross with me. You’ll have to stay and haunt him forever. Do you really want that?”

            “No!” I sputter. “Of course not, but Sam, don’t you realize…he has to pay!” I feel frustrated.  He’s not understanding the big picture here. “You don’t understand!”

            “I understand you want revenge.” He frowns at me, and I burst out angrily, “Yes! He has to pay! I have to make him pay! He murdered me in cold blood, and now he’s sitting on his ass watching TV while I sit here talking to dead people!”

            Sam looks hurt, and my heart drops into my stomach. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way…”

            “I understand what you meant,” he says. “You don’t want to be here, I can’t blame you…” He stands up, looking like he’s going to turn away, and I grab his wrist.

            “I’m sorry, please Sam. Don’t be mad.” I’m babbling desperately now.“I just need a bit of time. I mean, maybe I can communicate with Nakia, tell her she has to tell the police. I’m pretty sure she’s halfway there already. If I can get Caleb out of the picture, then Nakia has nothing to be scared of.” I stand up abruptly, excited. “In fact, he ran out last night when I scared him. He’s probably still at his Mom’s house this morning. And Nakia is probably awake by now. This is the perfect opportunity to try and reach her -“

            To my surprise, Sam reaches out and gathers me into his arms, holding me tightly, “Go if you need to, but come back. Don’t let him turn you into something you’re not. Remember that I’m here waiting. I won’t leave without you.”

            I feel a little giddy with him pressed up against me like this. He’s warm and solid, and his arms are strong and safe. I wrap my arms around him and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel light inside. Happy. Somehow he’s chased the anger and hurt away. Again I entertain the thought of just letting it all go, of letting things play out without me. It would be so easy to go with him, to leave all this behind.

            Finally he releases me. “Go to her. Try to convince her if you can.”

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