I Am The Absorber

Let me tell you about myself. I can do something... that nobody else can. Its amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world, but sometimes it's a tremendous burden. It stresses me out on days where any other person would be perfectly happy. It gives me a responsibility that I sometimes hate.

There is a story behind my... power? No, I wouldn't call it that. Gift? No, that's the wrong word. Ability? Maybe. Nice, ambiguous ability.

The event that changed my life started on a normal school day in seventh grade. I think of myself as perfectly normal then. Now, I don't know what to call myself. If I was outside, looking in on my life, I would say invert, bordering on antisocial. But I'm not antisocial or even shy. I like people, want friends. But the secrets I keep are too much for any friends. The burden I bear is too weighty for anybody.

I was just a normal person, with regular friends, regular classes, slightly above average grades. I liked pizza and Mountain Dew, like PE, hated math. I had an average life. I didn't even get bullied that often. But the day I discovered myself, I was the target of a very mean bully.

That day, in seventh grade, with my normal friends and happy life, I was on a roll in class. Specifically, history class. I had studied very hard the night before and was totally prepared for the huge test. But, as students sometimes do, the rest of the class didn't study. They all set out to convince Mr. Vince that the test was for the next day. It was an operation the Army would have been proud of.

Half of the class had English before and the other half had the accelerated math course. The English half came up with the entire plan and needed to tell us about it. So they came up with an elaborate plan that involved several girls needing to use the bathroom simultaneously and sneaking us the message.

Of course I was in on it. I protested with the best of them in Mr. Vince's class and he let us off. But instead of a study hall, like we had planned on, he had an entire review.

I knew every single answer. I had studied so long and so hard that the answers poured out of my mouth like a waterfall. It was glorious. I was the smart student and everybody was impressed. I admit it, I may have basked in a little glow.

It was my downfall. When he gave us an entire packet to do before the last ten minutes, I was already writing down the answers. I only did the first page and then I talked with friends the rest of class.

When the bell rang, I practically skipped my way to the gym, I was floating on clouds. I was so happy, I just went right past my locker. Of course, my freshly washed gym clothes were in there and when I got to the locker room, I had to ask the coach to return to my locker and retrieve my clothes. He said yes, of course and I went on my way. I got them and quickly returned to the locker room to change. Unfortunately, one of the bullies was out of class and saw an opportunity to get his homework done. He cornered me in one of those pesky little janitorial rooms and demanded that I do his homework.

He had his forearm pressed against my throat and his stupid mouth was breathing in my face. He had gross breath and weird teeth and his lips were twisted and sneering. I hated him with all my heart at that moment.

Then he disappeared. It was weird, like a slow flash from a camera or a slowed down version of that crack when you open a can of soda. I'm ashamed to admit it, I had my eyes closed. It was because I didn't want his gross mouth air getting in my eyes.

I was surprised but it was a not-shocked surprise, along with some surreal-ness. Sort of like when you hear a sound in the middle of the night then you wonder if you actually heard it, only you know you have. Yeah, like that.

I then raced to the locker room and changed with record speed. They were outside on one of the playing fields and I sped out there. But I didn't feel good. I felt heavy, almost like being bloated. It wasn't bad, just different. I thought I was sick and then when I was running, I got nauseous.

I fell to my knees on a field. Nobody saw me, because they were a few fields away. I looked at them and considered calling for help, but I didn't because I didn't want to disrupt the class. I felt so sick that I started coughing so I could throw up faster.

Then I threw up. Only it was water. And it wasn't from my throat. I could feel it coming around my throat but not in it. It was coming from my mouth.

I threw up and threw up and it didn't stop. I felt gasses coming out with the water and some black stuff and a tiny bit of yellow stuff. then a whole mess of different stuff and it just didn't stop.

I now know I was throwing up the remains of that poor boy who spent his last minutes on earth being mean to his murderer.