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•Three weeks later•
I miss her. A lot. I want her to kiss me. I want her to touch me, to hold me..to love me. But that won't happen. She despises me now.
I take a shower. I get out and dry my hair. I dry off, lotion, and get dressed. I'm wearing a pair of faded, denim jeans with cuts from my waist down to my feet, red converses, and a loose, off the shoulder crop top that stops at my mid stomach. I have on a black chocker and red lipstick. My hair is down and crinkled.
I walk out the door without eating breakfast.
"BYE MOM!" I scream at the last minute.
I drive to school. I stop at my locker on the way in. I get my books, turn and fix my top. I look up and see Tatum walking into the bathroom. I wait a few seconds, an then walk across the hall into the bathroom and glance at Tatum when I see her like it was a coincidence. As usual, she looks sexy..very sexy. She's wearing a pair of sky blue pants that fit her perfectly and a spaghetti strap, white, zip up top that stops at her mid stomach. She has on a pair of black combat boots. Her hair is down and looks soft and shiny. I go to the mirror and put on more lipstick to make it look like I had a reason to be in there. It was just me and Tatum in the bathroom. She walks towards the door to leave.
"Tatum, wait," I say.
She turns around.
"What?" she asks lazily.
"I'm sorry..about what happened. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."
"Ok," she is now completely facing me with her arms crossed. "Then what was it SUPPOSE to sound like?"
"Like..like ummm..you know.."
"No," she says. "I DON'T know."
"Like I mean that like people think that gays are weird and nasty. So if I date a girl, people will think I'M weird and nasty. Get it?"
"Yeah, I 'GET IT'. You think that all gays are nasty and disgusting-"
"I never said disgusting," I say.
"DON'T interrupt me. That's why you kissed me at the dance. You thought it was normal there. You thought that if you weren't a 'lesbian' there, that would make you abnormal. You don't like me. You never did. Gosh, I HATE people like you. You, you think your SOOO amazing, don't you? You think you know everything. Think everyone has to like you. Well, NEWS FLASH, sweetie. It doesn't work that way! Your not perfect. No one is. So if you would just stop thinking nothing can be a little different for just one second, maybe, just maybe, we can be acquaintances. But you will NEVER be my friend."
I stand there. And stare. I'm hurt. Very hurt. And I know that nothing can mask this hurt. Not even if Tatum just stopped, told me she wanted me, and kissed me. But that wouldn't happen. Even if it did, it wouldn't help. I burst into tears and just stand there sobbing. Tatum stares at me for a minute or so then turns and leaves. I'm alone. Then I think, LENNOX. I need Lennox. I run out the bathroom and find her.
"Lennox, I'm going home. When you get home this afternoon, I'm going to call you. It is absolutely IMPERATIVE that you answer, ok?"
"Ok," she says looking worried. "What's going on?"
"I'll explain everything later," I say as I walk out the door.