No Idea (A Poem)

I've been to the skies,

I've been looked over.

I've probably died twice,

And I've never felt sober. 

I'd dreamt of love,

I'd dreamt of murder.

I once wanted to send myself above,

So, I can't believe I've gotten any further...

I'd gone through tears,

I'd gone through madness.

I'd driven through my imaginations,

I might still have some sadness. 

I always shared my thoughts with you,

I could never keep away.

But there are certain secrets,

That I'm not capable to say. 

A month was like a year,

When you had left me.

Summer practically felt ruined,

But our memories got me out of agony. 

Our families aren't that close anymore,

So we barely get to meet.

But we keep in touch from my phone,

All the way, to your seat.

You'd never kept me out of joy,

You never left me ignored.

 I always found you hilarious,

 Never was close to bored.

Sometimes I wonder...

How did we meet?

How'd I end up with you?

Would we be the same, if I acted differently at first?

Do you feel embarassed of me at times?

Am I like a crime? 

A mistake?

Or maybe at stake?

I have no idea..

How exactly you feel about me.

I have no idea...

Where I'd be without you.

I have no idea...

How I'd get through all my painful times.

I have no idea...

Who else would be there to listen.

I have no idea...

How i'd learn to smile.

And I surely have no idea...

How I'd survive,

Without you.