Love my Scars?

Prologue:

As I penetrate my skin I mutter under my silent sobs about how selfish I must me to think that my life was so hard. I watched as each droplet beaded up until they were heavy enough to proceed to trail down my stomach and then seep into the top of my jeans.

My cold, wet cheeks pulled my mouth up into a smile but only for a second. I could feel my chest and shoulders start to relax and drop back down to their normal position.

My goal wasn’t to do anything. In fact, I didn’t have a goal, it just felt right. Well right for the time being. It’s easy. All the stress, the work, thinking, it’s just all gone.

I put down my blade and wiped away the remaining tears from my face then got twisted my body so I was off my bed. I dropped down to all four and stuck one hand under my bed. I kept my stomach tight in place, hoping that it would reduce the blood flow and not get all over the floor. My hand moved back and forth until it came across a stiff, crusty fabric. I pulled it out and pressed it agents my torso. I moved my body weight over so I was sitting on the ball of my feel.

I got up and started to clean up and get ready for a shower. I walked out my room into the dark hallway. The walls seemed to loom over me as if they know I could be flattened with one world of interrogation. I looked at the floor and hurried my step to the bathroom, and even in the shower I could never get rid of that feeling that I was always yet never alone.