Crush, No, Crushed

chapter 26

Surprise! I decided to post another chapter to make up for taking so long to post :) Some people were asking for a big chapter, so here it is! Well I think it's big anyway. It's long too :) Thanks for voting and commenting I am happy to announce that I am back on the fron tpage of the hot list :D I hope you enjoy the next chapter. Oh btw check out the song --> I love Honor Society, they are so awesome <3

            The way he was looking at me made it seem like he knew exactly what I was thinking. I wanted so desperately to run away and not have to see him look at me like that. He looked hurt and sad...incredibly sad, and I knew that I was to blame. The way he was looking at me made feel so guilty for ignoring him and trying to make him jealous. All I wanted to do was make up with him and be friends again, let him be happy again. It felt as though God was just playing a game with us, seeing who would crack under the pressure first. We stared at each other, neither of us knowing what to do, neither of us aware of reality. There was only us and in some silent communication we reached an agreement that we needed to talk. I knew that now was not the time so I nodded at him letting him know that I was here for him then I walked away.

             I didn't know where Nicole or Nate had gone and I didn't see the crowd of people lining up to get cake. I walked blindly to the refreshment table and took a hold of a cup and poured myself a glass of soda.  I leaned against the wall and looked into the crowd, lost in my thoughts. I had this empty feeling inside me and I did what I could to fill it by drinking down the whole glass. Soon it was empty and I quickly went to fill it. Again I chugged it down wanting to fill the empty void that was now tearing me apart inside. I should have talked to him then, got everything in the open because I knew both of us couldn't stand to have the other mad. Was ignoring him worth this? Did I really need his secret so much that I couldn't wait a while longer? I knew I was putting a lot of stress on him but was I selfish enough to force the answer out of him? I did have the right to know and he said that I eventually would. Why couldn't I wait? I couldn't get rid of this nagging feeling telling me that I had to push him to tell me. There was a time limit above our heads and the weight of it was getting heavier and heavier with each passing minute.

            I reached for another soda when a hand grabbed the cup out of my hand. I jumped back and looked to where Holden was standing. I narrowed my eyes at him and went to grab for the cup when he pulled it back.

            "I think that is enough." He said tossing the cup in the trash.

            "It's only soda." I huffed.

            "Do you know how unhealthy that stuff is?" He asked scrunching his nose.

            "What are you? My mother?" I mumbled.

            "Nope, I am your friend who is watching over you tonight. And in watching you, I saw you and that kid over there in an intense staring contest. Now, I am not psychic but I'm guessing that's him?" He asked giving me a sympathetic smile.      

            Have you ever noticed that in the word sympathetic is the word pathetic? That's how I felt right now, pathetic. I thought that if I saw him tonight I would have the courage to keep away from him, make him jealous and that would get him to open up to me. None of that is working because every second I felt the pull he had on my get greater and I was about to go up to him and beg him to forgive me for my childish behavior.

            "Yeah, that's him. His name is Les." I said looking back to him.

I could tell he was trying to not look at me. He was talking to this guy that I recognized as Gary (a/n One of Les' friends from the bowling alley, he is not important) but his head would turn towards me every few seconds then snap back.