Lights, Camera, Kiss Me

Chapter 13: Not You, It's Me

✯Ryan✯

It's Westlaker who looks up first, and I take a small amount of satisfaction in the fact that the man doesn't look happy to see me. I will tolerate his presence for Mac's sake, but I don't have to like him. I will never like him – not when he hurt Mac the way he did. Not when he has Mac's love now, and that's the last thing he deserves.

"Moore," Danny says tightly.

"Westlaker," I grit my teeth.

Since our first meeting outside of Blainesworth's office, there hasn't been a friendly word uttered between us. The rest of the cast accepted the other actor's brief role on the show. Well, they did once Mac explained she was just doing it to get Blainesworth off her case. None of them were happy about it, but they're still on better terms with Westlaker than I am.

"Mac," I say gently.

"I have to head back to the studio," Westlaker announces.

"I should head back too," Mac says quickly. "Sorry we can't stay."

I touch her wrist. "You can't sit and talk to me for five minutes?"

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" Westlaker says to Mac, pushing his chair back.

Becca comes over with my coffee just as Westlaker walks away.

"Refill, Mac?" Becca asks.

Mac smiles politely at the waitress. "I'm fine."

In other words, she can't wait to get out of here as soon as possible – can't wait to get back to Westlaker. Mac moves, and I catch a whiff of her strawberry shampoo. Desire hits me like a ton of bricks. The urge to pull her into my arms is overwhelming, but she's made it clear she doesn't want any kind of relationship with me anymore. Which is why I am sitting here, I remind myself. I have to find out why and what I've done.

"What's going on, Mac?" I ask her as soon as Becca walks away.

"What do you mean?" she responds, not quite meeting my eyes.

"Come on, Mac. Are you really going to pretend you don't know what I'm asking? You won't look at me. You won't talk to me unless we're on set and have a scene together. I know you're still hung up on Westlaker, and sure, I don't approve. I think the guy is a fucking moron, and if he hurts you again, I'll beat the shit out of him. But I never wanted to stop being friends because of it. Our friendship meant something to me. I thought it meant something to you too."

❤️✨❤️✨❤️

❤️Mac❤️

I can't help but be moved by what I see in Ryan's eyes. He's glaring at me, but I can see the hurt under the surface. I never meant to cause him any pain – never set out to upset him like this, but I obviously have. I've been so busy trying to protect my heart and get over him that I've avoided his every attempt to talk to me about anything other than work for the past three weeks.

Ryan believes I still have feelings for Danny, and I have purposefully let him think that way. My feelings for Danny are purely platonic. I hadn't even planned to have coffee with him today. I was complaining about being tired and needing caffeine, and he told me he was swinging by the café. Never in a million years did I think I'd bump into Ryan here.

"I know that headline freaked you out, and you didn't want Blainesworth to think there was anything between us, but our producer hasn't given us a second thought since you agreed to work with Westlaker," he says.

He sounds so confused, and I feel guilt claw through me. I should have seen this confrontation coming, but I hadn't. I've put all of my energy into making it through each day without falling apart... and I'd succeeded. I'm nailing my scenes. I'm not letting my feelings for Ryan get in the way of doing my job. All I want is to be the professional that I failed to be on Junction Hospital. But at what cost?