The Stepfather (MxM) ✓

Chapter 18

"Be honest with me."

"I'm always honest with you."

I gave Austin a deadpanned look, one that he returned with a reluctant sigh and dramatically rolling his eyes.

We both knew that Austin wasn't the most honest person in the world, but maybe in a good way. He told things to you as they were, but if there was a surprise waiting for you you'd be damn well sure that not a word would slip from him.

Despite that, my heart was still hammering in my chest. It was a weird question to ask anyone, especially a guy who wasn't inclined that way. Then again, it wasn't as though Kelly was going to give me feedback with this thing that had been niggling at me for quite some time.

And by that I really just mean a day and a half, but that feels like a month when you're being avoided and generally confused over what the hell happened.

"Sam, I have a pilates class with my mom in an hour. If you want me to be honest with you, you're gonna have to give me some time."

Which, yeah, was undoubtedly true considering the fact that the guy could blabber on for the entire state before anyone intervened.

"Am I attractive?" I asked, quite bluntly at that. The shame hit me like a train at that point and I immediately averted my gaze to my ratty shoes – hands worrying together in my lap as I practically noted the stunned silence that went over Austin. It was a weird question, I knew that. Heck, it was weird for me to even consider it in the first place. I had never been a guy to be all too concerned over the way that he looks, and yet I found myself being far too conscious about that over the last day or so. It was like a switch had been pulled.

Hair even slightly greasy? Shower needed as soon as possible.

Have a spot? Just obscure it behind your hand for the entire day.

Little stupid things that I never had an issue with before, and it was only when I was struck with the thought of 'oh, this is pointless' when I noticed that I was being avoided by one certain individual that I realised what the hell changed. And so I came to the expert. The only guy I knew who was comfortable and confident enough in his sexuality to answer that question. I was pretty sure that Kelly, another outside opinion that might be a little biased, would just laugh and walk off if I even asked. Then again, did I really want that to be brought back up as blackmail a few weeks on? No, exactly. So Austin it was.

We were sitting on the curb outside of his house, just soaking up the last of the day's sun and talking shit. It was only because there was a lapse in the conversation that I thought it best to bring that embarrassing topic up. In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best idea in the world. My cheeks were already burning bright red and I could hear a persistent buzzing in my ears. Austin's eyes were on me, studying me almost as though he had never looked at me before. Never took in my appearance. To be honest, that was more than likely. How many times have we had conversations with people only to forget what they look like moments after they leave? Far too many times, that's what.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever and, by the time Austin answered, I was sitting so rigidly that my ass began to throb.

"Yeah," was the only word that he uttered for a brief moment, a breath passing over us. "I mean, when I first met you, you wouldn't really notice. But y'know, after you cleared up everything..." Austin paused again, obviously noticing my intense look at the ground and the fact that my shoulders were rigidly straight. He looped his arm around my shoulders, giving me a bit of a jostle as though to rouse me to attention.

"You're an attractive guy, Sam," he assured me with an extremely firm nod, "you just appealed to a very precise group before. I mean, not everyone digged the blue stripe or the eyeliner. But, hey, you don't have to wear that anymore."