Shattered Memories [R-18] [Completed]

Shattered Memories - Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Three

Tanghali na nang unti-unting imulat ni Ishi ang kanyang mga mata. Malabo pa rin ang kanyang paningin nang rumehistro sa utak niya ang imahe ni Robert sa kanyang harap. Hinehele nito ang anak niyang si Damian. Naalarma siya kaya napabangon siya nang biglaan.

She winced when the area between her legs hurt because of her sudden movement. Robert turned to her with a frown. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Kakapanganak mo lang. Maging maingat ka sa paggalaw mo." His tone was strict, like he was scolding a child. However, given the hard tone, he still held the baby with gentle and care.

Napakagat si Ishi sa kanyang pang-ibabang labi. Ano nga ba sa tingin niya ang ginagawa niya? Why did she had the instinct to quickly get up and snatch her baby from Robert's hands? Why did she had the hunch that Robert might hurt the baby?

A part of her mind says he's not like that.

She got up from the bed. Her small foot padding on the floor as she approached her husband and son.

He carefully passed the baby on her arms. "You should feed him."

Maingat na binuhat ni Ishi ang kanyang anak. She sat down on the edge of the bed, then exposed one of her breast to feed Damian. The baby suckled her nipple instinctively. Lumundo ang katabing bahagi ng kutson nang umupo roon si Robert. Nagtaas siya ng tingin dito. He was looking intently at the baby with unreadable thoughts reflecting on his eyes. Silence took over the small distance between them for a period of time. The air between them seemed to get heavier and heavier by the second, and honestly it was harder breathing next to him.

"Do you think he looks like me?" Robert asked.

Ishi blinked several times, thinking how she would answer him. Iniisip kung ano ang sagot na gustong marinig ng katabi. "I... I don't know."

He sighed. "Hindi, 'di ba?" Bumagsak ang mga balikat nito. He looked up the ceiling, then back to the floor. Tumingin din ito sa dingding, sa may bintana. Kahit saan, bukod sa mukha ni Ishi. "D-Did you really... did you really do it?" Medyo nanginginig ang boses nito nang pakawalan ang tanong. "Did you really do it with Delvert?" Matapang na ibinalik ni Robert ang tingin kay Ishi. He put on a straight, emotionless face. He pretended to be tough, but the trembling in his voice gave it away. He was hurt.

Tila may pait sa panlasa ni Ishi nang mga oras na iyon. Bakit? Bakit pa ito nagtatanong kung alam naman nito ang sagot? Naroon na nga ang ebidensya, si Damian. Ang anak nila ni Delvert. Does he want her to deny what she has done? Does he want her to lie? Does he want to fool himself?

Ishi can deny it. But it would be silly. It would be very stupid. She looked away. She couldn't endure to look into his eyes and see him get hurt by her confession.

"Yes." That's all she could say. Isang salita lang iyon, pero tiyak niyang pagmumulan iyon ng matinding away nila ng asawa.

Parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig si Robert sa kanyang narinig. "Why, why Ishi? Why?!" he hissed. "Why would you do that?"

"B-Because... because I thought I liked him. Hindi kita kilala no'n, okay? I was attracted to him, and I thought he was a better man. Tingin ko may mas maganda siyang background kumpara sa'yo, kaya mas nagtiwala ako sa kanya. He's the guy that I remember, at hindi rin siya iyong lalaking niloko ako. I thought he was more trustworthy—"

"You fucked another man just because of a fucking thought?! Hindi mo man lang naisip kung ano ang totoong intensyon ko sa'yo? Kung gaano kita kamahal at kung gaano ko pinagsisisihan ang lahat ng nagawa kong pagkakamali sa relasyon natin?"

She stood up and put the baby on the center of the bed. She doesn't want to have the child in her hands whilst having a quarrel with Robert. "Honestly, I never thought of that! Kung gaano mo ako kamahal, kung gaano mo pinagsisihan ang lahat? Why'd you think I'd care?! I don't fucking know you! I don't fucking remember you. And yes, I know it's sick because I relied on my past memories for my better judgment. Syempre nga naman, Robert. Bakit ako magtitiwala sa'yo? You are my husband, yes! But you fucking cheated on me so don't you dare say that you were more trustworthy than Delvert. Don't blame this on me, hindi lang ako ang naging gago sa relasyon natin. Nauna ka! And I'm not saying this because I want to hurt you, pero ito ang totoo. Hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng 'to kung hindi ka nambabae! Hindi siguro ako naaksidente at sana naaalala pa kita, at sana buhay din ang anak na dapat ay mayroon na tayo!"