WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF SHADOWCLAN

Things That Happened in Your Life: Episode 2

Runningwind: Hello, StarClan! We are here tonight on Things That Happened in Your Life. I am your host, Runningwind, and tonight, our contestant is the one and only Jayfeather!

(Crowd cheers)

Runningwind: Jayfeather, do you know what the prize is if you win?

Jayfeather: Um...500,000 mice?

Runningwind: Yay! You watched our show last time!

Jayfeather: Umm, not exactly...

Runningwind(frowning):You didn't watch our show?

Jayfeather: No...

Runningwind: Then how did you know the answer? Did Mosskit tell you before the show? I knew that kit couldn't keep a secret!(Runningwind glares at Mosskit. Mosskit starts crying and Bluestar glares at Runningwind)

Jayfeather: I simply read your mind!

Runningwind: Oh...

Jayfeather: Well, hurry up! You're wasting my time! Are you going to tell me the first question or not?

Runningwind: The first question is basically an example question. It's a yes or no question and...

Jayfeather: All I hear is blah-blah-blah! Ask me the question already!

Runningwind: Ok then! You really are impatient...

Jayfeather: JUST ASK ME THE STUPID QUESTION!!!

Runningwind: The question is: Is your fur pink?

Jayfeather: How would I know? I'm blind!!!

Runningwind: Umm, how about deductive reasoning?

Jayfeather: Fine! My answer is NO!!!

Runningwind: Correct! Answer five more questions correctly and...

Jayfeather: Just get on with it! I'm getting so bored that I almost just fell asleep!

Runningwind: Ok, ok, just calm down already. Who stepped on your tail this morning?

Jayfeather: Is that the second question?

Runningwind: Umm, n....

Jayfeather: Mothwing did!

Runningwind: That wasn't the second question.

Jayfeather: Well, hurry up and tell me what it is then!!!

Runningwind: Who was Crowfeather's WindClan son?

Jayfeather: The one and only, arrogant traitor, Breezepelt!

Runningwind: Question three: Which ThunderClan cat was killed by a snake after saving a kit's life and...

Jayfeather: Honeyfern.

 Runningwind: Ok, now who was Honeyfern's mother?

Jayfeather: Sorreltail.

Runningwind: Question number five: Which two cats ate water hemlock?

Jayfeather: Cherrypaw and Mousewhisker.

Runningwind: Final question. If you get this question correct, you win...

Audience: 500,000 mice!

Runningwind: Who was Berrynose's father?

Jayfeather: Smoky?

Runningwind: Correct! You have won 500,000 mice!

Jayfeather: So I can leave now?

Runningwind: No-no-no! There's one final question, should you choose to answer it. It's the BONUS QUESTION!!!

Audience: Ooh!!!

Runningwind: If you get this question correct, not only will you win 500,000 mice, but you'll also win 100,000 thrushes, 50,000 voles, and 35,000 rabbits! And that's not all...you also win  A BRAND NEW MONSTER!!!

(A big black monster is driven onto the stage by Birchfall.)

Jayfeather: Oh yeah! That monster is SO mine!

Runningwind: But, if you answer incorrectly you go home with nothing but embarrassment!

Audience: Awwwww....

Jayfeather: I don't care! I got to try and win that AWESOME monster!

Runningwind: And one other thing. The question we're asking you about is not about something that happened during your lifetime.

Jayfeather: I don't care!!!!! Ask me the question already!

Runningwind: Ok then. Which two cats came to ThunderClan for help in the old forest after sickness swept through ShadowClan, turned down by Bluestar, and then later taken care of by Cinderpelt?

Jayfeather: Littlecloud and, um...(hesitates for a few long moments)Whitethroat.

Runningwind: Correct!!!! You have won...

Jayfeather: A lot of lame prey AND A BRAND NEW AWESOME MONSTER!!!

(The prey is loaded into the monster. Jayfeather leaps into the monster and prepares to drive off)

Birchfall: Wait! Do you have a driver's license?

Jayfeather: Er, no. What's a driver's license?

Birchfall: Then you can't drive....besides, you're blind!

Jayfeather: I don't care! I'm leaving!

Runningwind: How did you know the answer to the bonus question?

Jayfeather: I read your mind!

Runningwind: Hey, that's cheating! Give me back my monster!!!

Jayfeather: BYE!!!

(The monster drives off across the stage. The monster swerves wildly and nearly drives right off the stage.)

Birchfall: Call the police! A blind driver with no driver's license...and he's under 16 too!

Bramblestar: Last time I checked, there are NO police in StarClan!

Lionblaze: I'll tell the border patrols to watch out though....

(Birchfall is chasing after the monster.)

Birchfall: Come back!

Runningwind(shouting): Jayfeather, how can you see where you're going?

Jayfeather(from the distance inside the monster): I can't!

(The monster drives out of view)

Runningwind: Ok then...while Birchfall sends the border patrols to catch Jayfeather, I suppose that's the end of another episode of Things That Happened in Your Life! Good-bye and may the prey be plentiful!