"Yeah, we better,"I said crinkling my nose, and pushed him with my shoulder. "There's another thing I want to ask you,"
"Oh gosh, what now!"he groaned.
"Pipe down and listen!"I snapped at him. "I was going to ask... why did you have sex with all those girls at school?" I looked at Jay V's face as it turned into fear.
"I was hoping you wouldn't ask that."Jay V said after a moment. "I never really had sex with any of them. They were drunk, too drunk to remember if we did it or not. I did, and I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I did have sex with Lucy, and a few...6 other girls. The rest are just rumors."
"Then why the fuck did you have me and the gang believe that you actually had sex with the whole female student body?"
"Have you ever noticed WHEN I started doing that?"Jay V looked at me with sad eyes.
"Um...sophomore year?"I guessed.
"Beginning of Senior year. Time flys by and seems as if it were ages ago Clair. You asked why I did it. Why I let everyone think I slept with a lot of girls. Breaking their hearts, being a jerk to them. The reason is...is so stupid."he said shaking his head, his sad eyes still there. "That's when I found out,"he said quietly, so quiet that I wasn't sure I caught all the words.
"A year ago?"I asked, how could he keep such a big, enormous secret from for so long? How the hell did he manage that? He played football games, he partied like there was no tomorrow, he did a lot of things a dying man should not do! And don't get me started about his 18th birthday! Damn, what is wrong with Jay V?
"Yeah, a year ago. Clair I-"
"How the fuck did you keep this secret in you for so long? Why didn't you tell any of us? Me? The Gang? Your brother? Your sister? What would Michael think? What would Marie think? How the hell did you not tell any one for almost a year! What kind of person does that!?"I screamed at him, my voice raising high and high. "Are you fucking insane! Do you know what a enormous wreck I've been for the past 3 months, and then you put this on me all of a sudden! "
"And what about me?"Jay V retorted, his voice also rising with every word. "I kept the secret of me dying for almost a year. Seeing everyone so carefree and happy, you don't think I woukd feel sad about it?"
"But you WEREN'T sad."I said. "I KNOW you Jay V, you weren't sad. For one whole you you were a player, a jerk,-"
"Hot jerk-"Jay V interrupted.
"Who was drinking alcohol, got into car crashes, had sex at almost every party or at least pretended too, was on the football team who took tackles and tackled others, and so many more things that could have been effecting your leukemia. Did you seriously risked your fucking life into normality just to give us all a big show? "
"YES, in fact I DID risk my damn life giving everyone a big show, because I want to be remembered as someone, not a football player who died of leukemia! I wanted people to remember me, was that so hard?"Jay V yelled.
"You son of a-"
"Haven you even ever considered my feelings Clair? How hard it was to fake being carefree and happy? What the hell was going on in my mind, since Josh showed up? What I was feeling when my mom put us into marriage?!"
"I went through with that!"I objected, yelling back at him. How dare he accuse me of not- But I didn't. I didn't once consider what he was going through. His pain of never knowing when he was going to die. I was just thinking about me. How much pain I was in. My emotional stress when Jay V was at the hospital. When Josh showed up and Rose. I was just thinking of me. Just me. I can't believe I am so selfish!
YOU ARE READING
I Will NOT, Can NOT fall in LOVE with the Hot/Player/Jerk of a bestfriend!
Teen FictionClair has a normal life of a high school girl. She's the sports type, and will not let anyone get away with messing with her. Her best friends are some of the football team that she has known since kindergarten. When Clair and the gang are invited t...