Hanging By A Thread (Asa Butterfield Fanfiction)

Asa

Can a heart break when it's no longer beating? 

I watch that line from Cathy's favorite movie, "Corpse Bride." How ironic.

Over and over and over and over and over again.

And no, my friend, I'm still breathing. Asa Butterfield is definitely not suicidal. I still have my sanity.

But my heart is breaking. Curse love. Screw this. I hear Lottie coming in the room, and I burry my face in a pillow. I scream, even if I know no one can hear me.

Has your heart beat so hard in you could've sworn it's going to jump out and fall out of your chest? Lottie squeezes my hand and sobs with me. I look at her like she's crazy, and she chuckles.

"Do you think there's a stop button for love, Lottie?" I joke, trying to keep my voice steady. She rolls her eyes and squeezes my hand tighter. "I wish there was, Asa."

I force out a laugh, and I leave the room, feeling weak and intoxicated. My mind goes back to a memory long ago, and my stomach knots.

"Your eyes are my favorite color," says a soft, feminie, familiar voice right behind me. I turn around, and I see a beaming Cathy. She was in a frilly white dress, and she was bringing a book with her. Not much of a surprise. She leaves and waves to me, and when she gets to her car, she shouts, "Your eyes are extraordinary!" 

I wonder if that was still her favorite color. Or if my eyes were still extraordinary. Maybe.

Lottie rushes up behind me, and almost knocks me over. "Heyyyyyyy!" She says, slurring her y's. She's perky and cheery, and I didn't want to destroy her mood. 

"Let's go and watch a movie downstairs, I know just the movie to cheer you up," she beams, and drags me to the movie room.

She chooses a film that accurately applies to my situation. The guy falls secretly in love with a girl, covers it up by putting on a mask and hating her, unsuccesful in doing so, and eventually the girl ends up with another guy.

Too sad to be ironic.

"Nicole, please, I'm begging you, don't leave me!" The man cries, tears already streaming down his face. He's opposite an attractive blonde woman, and she is also in tears.

"Mark, I'm so sorry. But I can't be with you!"

"Don't give your heart to him, please."

"It's a little too late now." 

I walk up the stairs with Lottie, who was sobbing and sniffing. But before I could continue on, we were both stopped by Cathy's laughter. My stomach twisted.

Lottie lunges the door open, but Max and Cathy were too caught up in one another to even notice that we were there. She was right beneath him, and they were lying on the couch, while he was making smacking noises on her neck.

She was telling him she needed to do something, but it didn't really seem like she was in a rush since she was practically giggling so loud. 

"Give me ten more kisses and I'll let you go," he chuckles, still on top of her.

Lottie snorts.

"I'm sure she won't-"

But before she could continue, she was proven wrong.

"Alright," Cathy gives him a smile and leans him in, wrapping her arms around him. Their lips locked and I could already feel the hot tears stinging my eyes. "Make that twenty."

I rush out the door and slam it, startling the two, but I didn't really care.

"Asa, wait up!" Lottie tags along just behind me, hot on my heels. She looked just as disgusted as I was. "Asa, she's not going to be single forever, you know. You can't blame her for getting a boyfriend. That's life, Asa."

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. "I know," I sniff, not wanting to admit my stupidity. "It's just.. I get really emotional sometimes. But I do know that I don't have the right to be mad at her. I'm mad at myself for caring and loving her in the first place. Should've known."

I leave, and go to Kelvin's room, and Jona and him were playing some chess. They look up when they hear the door open, both looking at me with sympathy. "What's wrong, Asa?"

"Cathy. Max." 

"Oh," Jona eyes widen, nodding. He turns to Kelvin and exchange a look. Kelvin coughs, and I turn to face him.

"Will it be alright if I ask what happened?" Kelvin questions me, and I sigh. "Yeah," I tell him, as I sit on the carpet. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "They were, um, you know.. you know what I mean, I'm positive."