Fragile Heart

Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Layla

The walk home wasn't bad. Ben was excitedly going on about his day at school and he was so excited he made friends today. Normally Ben wouldn't get the chance to make many friends considering sometimes we would only stay in a town for a week or so then leave. This is the first time since Mom died that Ben is genuinely excited about talking to people other than me or his teachers. Normally, he'd be scared out of his mind to talk to anybody because of Marcus. And he shouldn't be, he should be an innocent little kid. And Marc took that away from him, he took being a kid away from Benny so early on.

Getting closer to the house now, I slow down and turn to Ben. "Buddy, listen to me. If he's home I want you to go to your room and play with your trucks and color something for me. Okay, Don't come out. I'll come get you, I promise. Just stay in your room, okay?"

Nodding his head, some curls fall in his eyes. "Okay sissy. I promise."

Smiling, the raggedy house comes into view. And of course, I knew I wouldn't get as lucky as I was this morning. Marcus is home, and he's not passed out drunk, I can tell from the kitchen light being on and a shadow moving across the walls.

Walking in the front door, I take Ben's school bag from him and nudge him in the direction of his room. He quickly runs into his room and shuts his door. As soon as the lock on his sore clicks into place, Marcus comes bounding out of the kitchen. He stalks towards me and I instinctively take a step back for every step he takes forward. Unfortunately, the door I just walked through stops me and allows him to push me against it. He grips my upper arms tightly, holding me against the door. "Where were you today, brat?" He sneers, alcohol clearly on his breath.

I stutter out, as usual, "We h-had school tod-today."

Marcus just looks at me. Then his look gets harsher, and his grip on my upper arms start to tighten. "School? What about my breakfast this morning? What was up with that?"

"W-What do y-you mean?"

"What do I mean? I mean the trash that was my food! You should know how to make it properly without fucking up. But of course, you fucked up like always." This type of talk doesn't phase me anymore. After a while of him calling me a fuck up and an ugly brat, I started to believe it. And now, he's seared it into my brain that nobody would ever want a fucked up, ugly brat, as a partner in life. As I said, it doesn't phase me.

"I'm s-sorry. I'll make it better t-tomorrow, I swear."

"You better, bitch." And as he said that final word, he lands a firm slap against my right cheek and let's me go. With him walking back into the kitchen, I take it as my cue to go to my room. Stopping to open Benny's door, I pick up some of his toys and crayons while he grabs his dinosaur coloring book and we head into my room.

"Sissy, are you okay? Your cheek is pink."

"Yeah, I'm alright bud. Pink is for girls anyway, and I'm a girl right?" I ask him, smirking.

He replies, giggling, "Yeah! Pink is a girs color, just like purpow. Gross." I laugh at him completely missing the 'L' in 'girls' and misplacing it in the 'purple.'

"That's right. Now let's color is some Dino's." He rips the crayons out of my hand and jumps up onto my small bed.

Sitting next to him, I watch him color. I watch the only man I will ever love in my life color in a family of three dinosaurs, one being purple, the next being blue, and the last being pink. "Why pink and purple? Aren't they girl colors?"

"Yeah, they are. But this one is Mommy," he says, pointing to the purple Dino, "And this is you, sissy." He states proudly, now pointing at the pink dinosaur.

"And I'm guessing the big blue one is you, huh? Since you're so tough and big like him." I say, reaching over to tickle his sides.

Laughing, he spits out, "Duh! I'm strong and big, and I'm protecting you!"

"Protecting me, huh? Well, buddy, you're doing a fantastic job."

"I just wish mommy was here to protect both of us." He says, his laughter and smile fading quickly.

"Hey, guess what? I bet you mommy is looking down on us with all the angels. She's protecting us and is so proud of you. I bet you she's running around on clouds screaming how much she loves you. How much she's so proud of you and how much she misses you."

"She's probawy telling God how much she loves us both."

"Yep, that's right. And hey, guess what?" His expression turns to confusion and I answer his silent 'What?'. "I love you so much."

"I wove you too sissy." As he says this, he crawls into my arms and I hug him to my chest. Laying down against the headboard I hum silently to one of my favorite songs, Centuries by Fall Out Boy.
As I hum to myself, I feel Ben's body slacking against me, meaning he's falling asleep. When I finish my song, he's fast asleep. Looking over at the small digital clock on my table, I see that it's time to cook dinner for Marc.
Carefully setting Benny in the middle of my bed, I crawl from under him and pull a small blanket over his tiny body. I quietly walk out of my room and into the kitchen. Luckily, Marcus is passed out in the living room right now.
Gathering all the ingredients and utensils needed, I get to work on baked chicken with potatoes.
After seasoning the chicken, mashing the potatoes, cooking the gravy, and setting up Marcus's plate, I'm just waiting on the chicken to finish cooking. A couple minutes later, I hear the timer on the oven and go to take it out. Setting everything up on the plate, as he likes it, I grab a beer from the fridge. If he doesn't have a fresh beer for dinner, it's not gonna be pretty, according to him.
Placing the plate and drink on the table in front of Marc, I start to shake him awake. A few seconds later he shoots up with a jolt, "What?"
"Dinners ready. I made you some chicken with mashed potatoes. And there's a beer for you too." I state, pointing to the table with the food on it.
He nods in appreciation and starts to eat.
A few bites into it, he starts talking with his mouthful, pig. "You need to clean and go to the store. We need more beer. And take that little monstrosity with you."
"Marcus, I can't get the beer, they probably ask for ID's here."
"We'll find a fucking way to get the damn stuff. If you don't come back with beer you know what'll happen. Now go, and when you get back you're cleaning the house." Great. Looking around, the house is disgusting after only a few days living in it. Beer cans litter the floor everywhere in the living room, there's something sticky on the kitchen counters, probably liquor, and there's mud and dirt on the kitchen floor, from Marc's boots.
Going to my room, I slip on my shoes and gently wake up Ben. "Huh?" He says, sleepily.
"We need to go to the store bubba. I need you to put on a jacket, it's cold outside."
He nods, and we both go into his room to put on his shoes and jacket. When both are on, I take his little hand in mine and walk out. Opening the front door, we walk out into the chilly night.