Step one
Do not let him know you are hurting
Do not show him the scattered scars on your body
Where you convinced yourself that if you cut through
The pain would leak out too
And you would be nothing but a statue smiling
Smiling as in the force grin you learned to put on your face
Even though it looks like the duplex you grew up in
With spots of grass missing in your front yard and the play ground with
Stains written on it
Where mom would always send you and the screams
Of the people suffering was the only friend you made
You were not raised to be happy
Step two
Do not tell him you have an appointment
With your therapist today
Instead text him and say
"I'll talk to you tomorrow"
And if he questions why you do not want to talk to him
Tell him you just need space
And when youre sitting in the room that smells of
Santizer and ripped childhood memories
Tell your therapist that today you
Would do anything for a bottle of pills and
The aching pain in your stomach
As you vomit up the neglect that your mother had left
Step three
When he asks why you're pushing him away
Tell him that fucking him was a mistake
Tell him that he should not love with his heart on his sleeve
Because he will bleed
