Escaping Death [Watty Awards]

Fate.

It’s a word that means “the power suppose to determine the outcome of events; ‘destiny’ or ‘death’”.  I’d always thought that fate meant destiny but when I found out that it could also mean death…well I was more than shocked.  But then again, when you think about it, everyone is destined to die.  Whether it’s from old age, a terrible accident, or sickness; people still die no matter where life takes each and every one of us.

Fate sometimes likes to play tricks on us.  One moment everything is completely normal and the next moment makes you stop in your tracks, and do a double take to see what is right in front of you.  It all happens in a blink of an eye or in a second, causing your heartbeat to accelerate inside your chest.

That is what happened to me.

In all the years that he has been gone, I have spent countless hours imagining his return, but none could compare to the moment I was witnessing.  He was sitting next to my seat in AP English Lit., and was getting settled before class began.  I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a second, asking myself if I was seeing things because surly this couldn’t be real.  He couldn’t be here. 

This isn’t possible.

When I opened my eyes again, he was still there.  His presence wasn’t the work of my over active imagination; he was really here.  My heart started beating erratically in my chest as I felt a lump in my throat.  I didn’t know what to feel.  Should I be happy?  Angry?  Relieved?  I didn’t know.  I still couldn’t believe that he was here.  He finally came back.

I was cautious of the steps I took as I walked towards my seat next to his.  Every second that passed felt like an eternity, slowly torturing my very being.  If this was a dream, I didn’t want it to shatter if I took a false step.  My heart felt like it was going to fall right out of my chest if I didn’t get a grip on my emotions.  There were just so many thoughts running through my head about him.  Questions like: Why did he come back?  Does he remember me?  Where has he been for the past six years?

Pulling my chair out from underneath the table, I sat down as steadily and calmly as I could.  That was the exact moment that he turned and looked at me…but there was no recognition in his eyes.  It felt like my heart had stopped and I could no longer breathe like a fish out of water.  He doesn’t remember me.  I was just a distant memory to him; someone forgotten over the years; while his memory was still deeply engraved in my mind.  But it was him, of that I was certain.  I would have recognized him from anywhere because of his eyes.

“Hey, I’m Gabriel.”  He said extending his hand formally towards me.

I reached my hand forward and met his without a second thought as I said, “Gwen.”

What the hell was going on?  I know who he is.  He’s Gabriel Montehue, for heaven’s sake.  He was my best friend since kindergarten and also the first guy I ever loved.  I have pictured different scenarios in my head of his return.  Ever since the day I found out he left, the day he disappeared, I have thought of what it would be like when he came back.  For months, I cried myself to sleep because of what I had lost.  Gabriel had never said good-bye.  I cried at night, thinking that he didn’t care about me because he didn’t leave anything behind for me to know where on earth he had gone.  He just disappeared; vanished without a trace.

When he left it felt like my other half had been taken from me and that it was lost forever.  I never gave up hope though.  There was always something that kept my memory of him and his return.  Maybe it was all those scenarios I played in my head.  I knew that I should have let him go once high school started, but I couldn’t let the memories of him drift away.  Now, all of a sudden, he was back with absolutely no memory of me.  It just didn’t make sense.

“Dr. Linz said that you could catch me up on things for class, if you wouldn’t mind of course.”  He said.

I looked back at him, unaware that I had been twirling my hair around my forefinger.  When I looked into his eyes, I saw the little boy that I grew up with, big front teeth and slightly chubby cheeks.  When I blinked the image was gone and all that stared back was the handsome guy that he has grown up to be.  “Umm…yeah it’s no problem” I answered.  “Did he say you’d be doing the class project?”