Escape Route (Decode Sequel)

Chapter Thirty Two - Bitter Sweet See You Laters.

Lennon.

I felt a tight knot in my stomach as we started to see signs for London on our way back from our getaway. I couldn't explain why, maybe it was the prospect we could be saying goodbyes soon or the dodgy seaside breakfast we decided to have. Whatever it was, my stomach felt tight and my head felt like it was spinning.

I had one hand held across my stomach and the other gripping the door fiercely. I didn't want Harry to know I felt ill but he could barely keeps his eyes focused on the road.

"Are you alright? Your face has completely paled."

"You should focus on the road."

"I am." He replied sharply.

"Okay."

"Lennon..." He dragged out, his hand held mine once he stopped at a set of traffic lights.

"It's fine, I'm fine."

"You're a rubbish liar."

"I think it's the breakfast fighting against my stomach." I groaned, shifting until I could get comfortable.

"I'm fine though." He fired back. I snapped my head around to look at him, a scowl fixed on my face.

"I don't know, I just feel like there's a massive ball of stress growing inside me."

"Are you gonna throw up? Do you need me to pull over?"

"Do you care more about your car interior?"

"No. I'd just rather not pick chunks of food of my windscreen."

"I'm not gonna throw up."

"Why are you stressed?"

"I don't know really, I just know this is how I felt when I dropped out of uni and had no idea what I was doing in life."

"Do you still feel like that?" He asked quietly. I thought about it silently. I didn't say anything for a while and we carried on the drive in silence - the radio wasn't even on for once.

"My life is a bit of a mess." I admitted, my bottom lip wobbling with my words. Harry's face flashed concern as he slowed the speed down along the motorway, not enough to cause an accident. His silence was his response for me to explain.

"I don't have a degree, I couldn't even last one semester at uni. I don't have a job or any signs of getting one. I don't have a proper family, my dad was a complete nutter and I'm scared I'll one day be a parent like him. My mum doesn't even remember me, to her I'm just another stranger. Your best friend practically hates me, my ex best friend was all set to kill me and I'm two problems away from having a nervous breakdown." I let out a shaky breath, the words had emptied from my mouth without my brain registering what I was saying. "I feel about shit if I'm honest."

Harry didn't say anything, he carried on driving. I felt even more sick after I just spilt what I had bottled up inside and he didn't seem to batter an eyelid. I squeezed my eyes shut and started counting in my head, I don't know why or what I was counting to I just needed to stop the suffocating thoughts control me again.

I had counted up to around five hundred before the car stopped. We weren't on the motorway anymore and I could see skyscrapers on the horizon. I assumed Harry wasn't going to acknowledge what I just said - which seemed odd for him, he was normally a great listener. He pulled the keys from the ignition and pushed open his door.

"I'll be back in a minute." He spoke quietly, I nodded and slouched against my seat. My head rested against the cold window which helped soothe the hot flush I was experiencing.