Deathly Kisses

52. "Every fool's choice"

Chp52. "Every fool's choice"

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Austin's POV

I rubbed my face for the millionth time in a row once again today. Each time I did, it felt as if things were getting even more stressful than before. And knowing I pulled one of the biggest asshole moves makes me feel even more like shit. I really wish I could just sleep everything off, wake up without all this mess trying to suffocate me.

I witnessed right before my eyes as my phone notified me that someone had texted me. It was probably Mia. She hasn't stopped trying to reach me ever since last night.

After debating on checking the message, knowing I'll still not respond to it, I reach for my phone. When I saw that it wasn't Mia but Riley quickly checking up, I couldn't help but feel disappointed. And I hated myself for that. I had no fucking absolute right to feel like that.

Mia probably got tired of trying to talk to you. Great going, you fucked it up just like everything you do. I thought to myself.

The blood in my vains started rushing at the thought of her dropping me. All these thoughts and images of her with someone else had turned on another side of me that I hated and tried so hard not to let it come out.

My hands turning into fists while still managing to have my phone in one of them.

And there she was beautiful as ever. She was laughing, and I couldn't help but notice how damn perfect she is. And fucking shit, I am in love with this girl. She moved her hair to the other side on her shoulder, licking her bottom lip she unbuttoned the sweater she had on and quickly tossed it to the side. Mia continued letting one of her bra straps fall down to her shoulder.

I bit my bottom lip seeing her like this, her belonging to me. All to myself. Mime mine mine.

Her hands moved to her back, I knew she was about to remove her bra. But she didn't. She was stopped. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. In a matter of seconds, two pair of lips had touched her neck. Kissing her all over. It wasn't me. I knew it wasn't me, because I was still fucking here.

I was furious at this point, I felt like I had every strength in the world to find whoever the hell it was and strangle them to death with my bare hands. I hadn't noticed much on what had happened next until I snapped out of it. My eyes quickly flew open when the loud noise of my fists knocking into the wall made me realise what was going on.

The pain didn't even kick in until a minute or two. It wasn't instant. I knew I had let things get to me again once my knuckles slowly started bleeding and I was able to feel my hand going numb.

Shit, I hissed under my breath looking down at my damaged hand.

I hadn't even realised my phone was still in my hand. I turned it over to seeing a crack right across my screen.

Closing both my eyes for a brief moment, I breathed out trying my best to control my temper. The fact that I needed to still reply to Riley on how things were going so damn amazing, even if that was such a lie, made me more bitter. After replying I placed my now cracked phone down.

I went back and sat on the edge of my bed and ran a hand through my hair. Placing both my hands in front of me, comparing the bleeding swollen hand with the one that wasn't hurt.

"Austin did you-- whoa," Dave stopped at the doorway. "What the hell did you do?"

"Why do I always have to do something?" I let out a defeated chuckle. I was in no mood to get fired up all over again with a simple dumb question. Normally I would've though. "Can't I just get hurt like a normal person?" I asked.

"No because your ass always wanna get caught up in shit that doesn't even have significance." he replied.

"Dave," was all I had said.

Dave shook his head almost feeling disappointed. "You know what, whatever." he had said, lifting his hands up in surrender. "I'm not even going to push it. Just get cleaned up. We have a meeting for new upcoming shipments in twenty and I don't want you late."

"Okay."

I had eventually gotten the energy to get off my sorry ass and take a shower. Even if a shower does sound much needed right now, it was hell. The thing about showers is that you're meant to spend most of your time thinking about shit there.

And what I have already building up was not in need for any more room. I'll admit that it hurt like hell once the hot water hit my swollen knuckles. But I'm pretty sure that did not compare to what I was currently feeling and how I'm sure will lead into much worse.

I rinsed myself one last time and quickly got out. I didn't have any time to waste before Dave could come in and be on my ass about timing again.

I didn't even bother fixing my hair. A beanie will have to do for now. I placed the gold watch around my wrists and glanced at my phone again.

I managed to stare at it for a good amount of time that I had almost forgotten I needed to be down in a few more minutes.

I gave myself one last glance in the mirror, I was close to punching the bare reflection in it. The weak man standing in front of me wasn't even a man but what seemed to be a weak little boy.

The self hatred seemed to grow by the second yet it felt like I was starting to live and feed off it. I stared at myself with pity, pity for what I've become and for what I'm trying to fix but simply can't. And most likely won't any time soon.

I can't tell her...

It'll hurt me more telling her than it probably will her knowing. My temper was running thin. And though I didn't end up punching the bathroom's mirror, all of the things sitting on the counter were now laying on the floor as my blood ran wild inside me.

It wasn't until that moment of pure embarrassment for myself that I had decided to take the easy way out, the way every man takes, the way that every fool chooses to pick; and bury myself along with all of the lies the were about to eat me alive.

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-DK updates coming soon.

- New story on the way.

xo