LOST INNOCENSE *RATED R*

WARNING! MATURE READERS ONLY

THIS IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT A DARK SUBJECT. ITS NOT EDITED, I JUST TYPED AND DIDN'T STOP TIL I GOT THIS OFF MY CHEST. ITS NOT FOR THE LIGHT HEARTED, IF YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ONE..CLICK 'BACK' NOW.

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WATCH THE VIDEO----> "kristy are you doing Ok" by The Offspring

It reminds me of so much....

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I'M ONLY SHARING THIS STORY WITH YOU BECAUSE I CAN HIDE MY FACE BEHIND THE WORLD WIDE WEBS CURTAIN OF ANONYMITY.

THE REASON I'VE DECIDED TO TELL YOU THIS STORY IS BECAUSE I KEEP SEEING STORY'S WITH CHARACTERS THAT DEAL WITH THIS EXPERIENCE ... UNFORTUNATELY ITS OBVIOUS THAT SOME AUTHORS (NOT ALL) HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT REALLY FEELS LIKE TO GO THROUGH SUCH AN ORDEAL. IT MAKES MY STOMACH HURT TO READ SUCH STORIES, ANGER, SORROW...THE LIST GOES ON AND ON TO THINK THAT PEOPLE TAKE SUCH A SUBJECT SO LIGHTLY THAT THEY THINK ITS OK TO JUST GUESS AND WRITE.

NOT EVERYONE DEALS THE SAME WAY.

NOT EVERYONE FEELS THE SAME WAY.

THIS IS MY WAY

AND THIS IS WHY....

When I was in middle school, 8th or 7th grade, I met a girl. Its been so long ago that I don't really remember how we became friends. We lived in a small town with only two middle schools, I have no idea how I didn't meet her during 6th grade but I guess I was too busy dealing with my own problems.

My oldest memory that has to do with her...She was going out with a boy.  He was such a jerk, not many people liked him. For some reason she did.

It was a mistake.

I hated the boy with a passion, we used to run in the same group and sure I would back him up if i had to... but i hated him. He was so cocky, thought he was all bad.

One day we were all outside during lunch and he's bragging. Talking about how easy that girl he was going out with was. Now that I think back I think "wow we thought we owned the world, we thought we were so grown up." He talked and talked. Talked about where, when and how. Everyone thought he was so cool.

But I thought he was a sleaze, so I went looking for the girl. At this point we were only acquaintances, I wanted to make her see that all her moves were the wrong ones. i told her everything the ass-hole was saying and you know what she said?

"I dont care"

I have no idea how it happened. How we became closer, best friends even. I was so loud, bossy, mean more often then not with a chip on my shoulder. She was the complete opposite so nice, sweet, quiet and friendly.

If i could guess it would be that I've been known to root for the smaller person. I hate bullies and me and my tough gal persona thought she was in need of a tough friend. To teach her how to defend herself, to fight back instead of just turning the other cheek.

FYI I never achieved it and through the years I've learned that she was always stronger then me.

Yeah I think that's how our acquaintance became friendship and slowly that bond grew strong. Strong and thick as blood. I think back on those days and cant help but smile :D We had a blast!!

I used to spend every other night at her house. Her parents didn't like her staying the night at my house. They said it was cause i had two older brothers, but tha was ok, we were poor their wasn't much entertainment at my place.

At her house though, she had games, cd's, her own room! and every weekend her parents would take us to the casino. While they gambled, we went crazy in the arcade and afterwords we got some chicken and fries for the 45 min drive home.

During 9th grade things started to change. We didn't want to just hang out at her house. We wanted to skip school. Go to parties. Go to games. Go to dances. Have boyfriends.

Her parents weren't ok with that. Her step dad specially didn't want her to have boyfriends. The excuse was that he didn't think girls should date til she was older.

I laugh now.

I laugh now, remembering all the things we did behind their back.

One rare night they allowed her to stay the night at another friends house. It was me, her and two other girls. Once more I chuckle. We snuck out, we drank and we stayed up all night.

When we were walking back to our friends house. Our talk got deep. I dont remember how it started (drunk remember) but it dealt with sex, rape and molestation.