THERE I WAS AGAIN TONIGHT...
"Mom, I don't want to be here. This dress is too short and these heels are killing me. Please, let me go home." I begged, I pleaded, I complained, I dug out every possible reason why I shouldn't spend my homework-filled school night at this party. But my mother never listens.
"Can you shut your mouth, Rae?" She commanded a little too loud, without even looking at me. This gained a few stares from the people around. She just smiled at them.
"But... But mom-"
"No buts." She firmly said. "And stop whining. Smile and socialize." She looked around. "Oh look! Aren't those your friends?" And without another word, she disappeared into the crowd. Who knows where she went now?
...FORCING LAUGHTER, FAKING SMILES...
I found a small empty table with a few chairs near a glass door. It lead to the garden of the mansion where the party still extended. I saw the girls, whom my mom thought were my friends, make their way to where I was. They smiled at me so I smiled back.
"Hi" One of them greeted. "I'm Ashley" the blonde said and flashed me of what I thought was an ingenuine smile. "This is Bridget and Courtney." She pointed at the other girls. "And you are?"
"Rae." I faked a smile.
"Rae - what a cute name!" I heard Courtney said that.
"Yeah, it's so...so... So short." Ashley commented.
"Hey, isn't Rae a guy's name?" Bridget curiously asked, giving me a puzzled look.
"Yes, I think so. Maybe my mom had mistaken me for a boy when I was born." I wasn't expecting them to laugh at what I said but they did. It wasn't supposed to sound like a joke but they giggled until they were laughing. I didn't know what else to do so I chuckled along with them, forced, that is.
...SAME OLD TIRED, LONELY PLACE...
They left me a few chatters later saying that they will be back. Great! They weren't that bad. It's just they weren't the type of people I hang with. And this isn't the kind of place I should be at a time like this.
I'm tired of this. I'm tired of all the parties and social gatherings, tired of smiling and talking to people I barely even know, I'm tired of mom and her social climbing ways.
There were a lot of people, yet I felt so alone. I just sat there, my eyes staring blankly into space. I was determined to stay like that until it was time to leave.
...WALLS OF INSINCERITY, SHIFTING EYES AND VACANCY VANISHED WHEN I SAW YOUR FACE...
A few minutes of my mindless staring didn't turn out quite as I expected. My neck hurts and so as my back & butt. Mom made it worse when she walked to my table with her rich friends. She introduced me and all that pointless stuff. As expected, I needed to smile, to be courteous, to be prim and proper, to be what my mom wanted me to be. I felt out of place as they started their conversation so I excused myself and went outside.
There were also masses of people outside. I sat on a small bench that I found under a tree. Good thing there were less people in that area and no one was sitting there. If there had been somebody, I'd have to put up my smiling mask again.
"Why do these people enjoy parties like this?" I found myself asking as I raked my eyes through the crowd. All they ever do is talk, drink wine, bite on a little of this & that and talk. It's really boring.
Out of boredom, I decided to make fun of the people. How awful their dresses were or how ugly their haircuts were. Slowly, I realized I was giggling alone. (Note to self: Tell mom I'm going insane because of her.) My eyes scanned the crowd for more people to comment on. I found another target.
