Benjamin's Past (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

The traffic in the country is usually never busy. Always calm & quiet, nothing but the wind and the occasional car that would drive on their way to highway. I have to work today, so does Tim, which means I have to take Ben to the daycare. I don’t like waking him up this early but I have no choice. His little brown eyes shine when they hit the light. He doesn’t cry he only smiles, his smile can always brighten my day.

‘It’s 7:08 here at The Station. We hope everyone is awake and feeling great on this beautiful day. I’m Jason & I will be this morning’s host, at least while Chris is away. Now I’m bringing you guys back to Sarah for the actual news reports, we hope you all have a safe drive. This is Jason, haha, oops I already said that.’ I laugh at the radioman, then I look over my shoulder to see how Ben is doing. He’s sleeping, poor thing, soon he won’t have to wake up so early. He’s starting school next year, pre-school that is. His fourth birthday is the 22 of November. I don’t want him to leave me but I will see him later on in the day.

‘We’re almost at the highway, ten minutes after that & we go our separate ways Benjamin.’ I say softly so I don’t wake the sleeping angel. It’s 7:30, we should get there by 7:50 something. Which means I will be early for work, my work starts at 8:30. Maybe I should stop for a cup of coffee that sounds good. ‘Hhmmhmmmhmmmmm…’ I begin to hum to fill the empty sounds of the quiet vehicle.

I hear a motor and it’s getting louder. With every passing second the motor gets louder, I check my rear view mirror, nothing. My heart begins to pound as I worry. The vehicle getting faster, the motor getting louder, my heart is racing in fear. Out of nowhere a blue truck comes right in front of my car. I slammed on the brake pedal, it was too late. A loud screech echoed for mile and miles, along with the sound of shattered glass, and car alarms.

 My hearing is fuzzy, I can hear men in the background & the sound of a car horn. ‘Hurry we need them out of there!’ One of the men yelled. Wait, where’s Ben? I can’t hear Ben! Where is he?  I try to turn my neck, but it hurts, instead I look the corner of my eye to see that the firemen had already taken Ben out to safety. My eyes get heavy, the last thing I remember seeing was Ben, and then I blacked out.

Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep… I slowly open my eyes to a bright light. I feel so tired, restless even. My body aches, well my arms & neck do. My legs feel fine. Wait… My legs, I can’t… Oh my god I can’t feel my legs! I begin to cry when I feel a hand on my shoulder. It was Tim, his eyes full of tears, his smile was happy yet sad. I could tell because his lip was quivering.  He was beside me the entire time, seated on a lazy boy type chair. ‘We’ve missed you.’ He smiles, a tear raced the other the bottom of his cheeks. ‘Ben is fine…’ He starts to cry ‘They said Ben would live…’ He sits down & places his head beside my hand, and cries. My eyes water, my poor baby was injured, and it’s all my fault! I place my hand on Tim’s head & try to comfort him, but my words are trapped.

September 28th 2012,

This is my second week at the hospital. The doctor said I might be able to go home soon with Tim & Ben. But it all depends on what the test results are.

Tim got to take Ben home with him last week. You should have seen the smile on his face. Now all we’re doing is waiting for me, then we can have a celebration with mom & dad. They came from Ontario the day after the accident to help Tim with the house, and now with Ben.

Ben looks & acts the same, other than a small scar on his forehead. The doctor isn’t sure if the crash left any damage. But he’s doing regular checkups with him just make sure.

I’m doing better now, they have me on pain killers & I have physiotherapy every day, to see if there’s any progress with my legs. So far there hasn’t been, but as long as I can hold my boys, that’s all I need.

Tim brought me a surprise today; he brought me a homemade meal. And Ben said he helped out, he smiled at me & tried to climb up on the bed. Once he sat up he immediately asked me if I was going to eat that. I laughed; he then turned to the table beside the bed & started to draw. The nurse had left paper & crayons just for him. When his picture was done he showed us both, a drawing of three stickmen holding each other hand. He said which one he was, which one daddy was, and which one I was… I was the pretty one he said. I gave him a kiss on his forehead, and Tim hung the picture on the window.

They spent the entire afternoon with me then they had to go home. I promised Ben he could draw for me tomorrow, it was the only way he would go home.

August 29th 2012,

I have one month to live.