Unrequited love

sept

// Matty // 

"Okay, so you've found another chick and she fell in love with you, what else?" I laughed at my long time friend George and brought the cup with beer to my lips, taking a sip from it.

"She's pretty." now he laughed and passed me the blunt.

"you know, pretty means average. Nothing else." I sighed and the thought of Elizabeth went through my mind. I remembered the night before and how good she made me feel. I shook my head.

"You know." I mimicked him. "Her ass makes it up." I smirked, taking another drag of an almost finnished blunt.

"How do you do it though, to make girls fall for you all the time. Like fuck, I don't make girls go head over heels for me." I laid my head back on the couch, a laugh escaping my mouth.

"It's all a joke anyways. We're all assholes, fucked up one way or the other.  At the same time, all beautiful assholes. Don't know mate, it's all an act, we're all acting to be what we're not."

I groaned.

"yeah, I should probably tell them I tend to break hearts quite often." 

// Elizabeth //

Checking my phone I realised I have a few missed calls from my sister which meant something was wrong or something was incredibly good. So I decided to call her back as soon as I was outside of the crowded bar. It was already half past 5 in the afternoon, so I walked back to my flat, while listening to my sister babbling about how she missed me.

Which surprised me because she never said that and she always only called me because of the reasons listed above.

"well if so, you should probably come back to the city some time soon." 

"yeah, I should, shouldn't I? Is next Saturday cool?" I said yes and we said our goodbyes just as I reached the front door of my flat. I unlocked them, going straight to the bathroom and going under the shower. 

After a while I finally stepped out of the shower and went to my room, searching for good clothes. Deciding on high waisted black jeans and a crop top, I then went back to the bathroom and put some white on the mirror shelf. I sat down, breathing deeply, concentrating on the good things in life.

Drugs are only okay until you start using them to fill the emptiness inside your mind. Then you're fucked. keep on wanting more, to feel it again, and again, and again. The acidity in the back of the throat. Stuffed nose, swallowing down the burning; something touches what cannot be touched any other way. Falling down, unsure of the hands catching you; no need to think when you can think of your next line.

I stood up, feeling relaxed and ready to do anything that I had to, ready for everything.

The thing was, that only when I was on drugs I could feel like that. Or when I was with him. But being with him sometimes sounded more dangerous than drugs ever could.

You shouldn't be addicted to people, they leave, things stay. 

I was dancing on the dancefloor in the club with some of my friends and having the time of my life. Maybe because I drank way too much and before that I smoked a joint, so I wasn't even thinking about anything, which was great. So I danced to the sound of music that is played on radios most of the time, some popular song probably. And I didn't care.

"Lizzy come out with me for.." I couldn't hear Amy, even if she was literally shouting into my ear. "what?" I shouted back and she just grabbed my hand taking me outside. 

"I needed some fresh air." I started to laugh, without a reason. 

"ahh yes, weed is fun, isn't it?" we laughed together and I saw someone walking towards a group of girls and I knew who he was. I didn't go to him though, I didn't even care if my heart skipped a beat when I heard that laugh. He was drunk, that I could tell. The way he walked was funny so I started to laugh again and I had to sit down. My legs were hurting.