Chapter 19

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I had a really emotional moment this week, listening to the song attached to this chapter and reading through the hundreds of comments, PM's and wall posts from beautiful readers encouraging me.  Thank you so much, every one of you.  Without you, this book would be just a bunch of words in a document, rather than a living breathing story. 

So many of you have related the changes in your lives since reading this book, which is something I never expected.  But in itself, that is a kind of special magic, don't you think?   Words tapped out on a keyboard in an Australian city have bloomed across the world and inspired change in the way people think and feel about themselves.  It's magic, and I'm so humble to be a part of this process and to have you invested in my creation.  Thank you.  If Curves ever makes it into print, the dedication will be to the readers here on Wattpad.

 After a cliffy like that, you deserve an extra-long chapter – enjoy... :)

"Matt!" My heart literally skipped a beat, resuming its rhythm with intensity. Heat crawled over my skin in an automatic reaction to his nearness. He looked both amazing and awful. He couldn't help but appear gorgeous to me, with his eyes a cloudy grey and his lips open and inviting. Under his simple white tee, his sculpted frame showed through, perhaps a little leaner than normal, but with his trademark six-pack evident.

But his face was a pitted hollow of shadows, and his hair fell limply over his forehead, bereft of product or even a comb. His expression was a mixture of relief and frustration as he said, "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" I ushered him inside, feeling lightheaded. There was a very real possibility that the answer could have been no if I'd asked Lightfoot to stay the night, and I couldn't even imagine trying to have that conversation. "What's going on? Aren't you meant to be on air right now?"

I sat on the couch, gazing up and waiting for him to join me. Instead, Matt began to pace back and forth in the small lounge room.

"Yes, I am meant to be on air. The problem is for the last ten days, I've been going out of my mind trying to make contact with you. I've been emailing, calling, texting. I've argued with your assistant, who said you're voluntarily offline and refused to tell me anything. I tried to get the producer to put you on the line when you were in Darwin, which didn't work. No one knew where you were at all over the weekend, and Robbo only told me this morning that you were here in Sydney because I threatened to quit if he didn't."

He raked a clawed hand through his hair. "As soon as I knew you were less than ten minutes from me, I told Robbo I'd be back tomorrow and walked out, because I couldn't last one more day without seeing you."

"Oh." I wasn't sure how to respond. "I wasn't trying to avoid you, you know. Just trying to take some time out."

Matt's face swelled like a cherry tomato. "I understand that, I do. I'm just not sure if you understand how much... Alright. Alright. Here's what we'll do: I'll say everything I need to say, and then you can decide if you want to tell me anything. Alright?"

"Alright."

"Alright." He took a deep breath into his chest, which only seemed to further tighten him up. "Evianna, I love you. I should have said it weeks ago, but I've been wimping out. I'm manning up now and I'm here to tell you, I love you."

My eyes filled with prickles and heat, but I didn't try to reply yet.

"I know I've made a mess of things between us so far: I've been hiding my feelings for years, because I was scared. I tried to take you to bed because I thought that was what you needed, and that ended badly. Then I let you leave on this road trip, when I should have been convincing you to stay. I emailed you all this stuff about me, but it wasn't enough to show you how I really feel.

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