Falling In Love

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I stumbled at the end of the dock, where the wooden planks met the frozen ground. He paused a minute as I righted myself, then sighed as I stood there staring at him. "What?" He asked, sounding only a little impatient. "I thought you liked Little Joe." I dusted off my legs and straightened my sweater. "Joe? Yeah, he's one of my best friends. Why?" He tugged gently on my hand and I started walking with him down the uneven path back towards town.

"Well, your sisters great. I mean, she's sweet and funny and kind." I glanced at him to watch his reaction, but he didn't seem to get my meaning. "And she really seems to like Joe, and well.... What's the problem? You know, with them being together?" His hand tightened fractionally on mine and his pace picked up once more. His long stride halted when I stopped moving. Again.

"Andy..." He turned and looked at me, not upset, but not really happy. His expression was closer to sad than anything. "It's hard to explain, and yeah, my sister is great. But Joe... Joe is just like me, and that makes it complicated." He turned and started walking, but at a much slower pace.

"Joe is just like you, meaning what?" I asked. But he didn't answer. His thumb started rubbing the back of my hand, and I wondered if he knew what he was doing. My hand in his felt nicely warm, and I blushed, realizing this was the first time I'd really held hands with anyone. I stared at him in profile again, but he didn't seem intent on answering me.

"You're a guy, he's a guy.... Or does it just bother you because she's your little sister?" I was trying to find a reason, and that seemed as plausible as any. "Yes, it's that, but I'm also afraid, even though he does like her," He paused, and it looked as though he was having a hard time finding the right words. "he could hurt her. Not intentionally, but, it could happen. And being my little sister, I think it could be really bad, you know, if he broke her heart."

I guess that made sense. Joe seemed like a great guy, but even the strongest hearts were breakable. I wouldn't want to be stuck in Konai's position if his best friend and little sister had a falling out. But.... they just seemed so perfect for each other.

Konai and I, on the other hand, were complete opposites. I tried to find a reason for him to see anything in me at all, but kept coming up blank. Maybe he would get bored with me and break up with me and....

*Ouch!*

A horrible twisting started in my chest, and I rubbed the spot with my free hand. Just thinking about him not wanting me felt wrong. As though it couldn't even be an option. Last night he'd asked if he could love me, and yes, I thought he'd meant it as a rhetorical question. But he'd stated as much this morning, and I believed him. I not only wanted to, but a large part of me needed to believe that he'd meant what he had said.

No, there was no way I was falling in love with Konai. People did not fall in love over night. Did they?

I frowned and tried to remember why I shouldn't like him, but he'd never been outright cruel to me. Sure, he'd made hanging out with Kaida as boring as possible, and was a constant chaperone. And when we were little, had told me a few times that I wasn't the right kind of friend for his sister. Yeah, that had hurt.

But he'd never gone out of his way to be mean to me. And every irritated conversation had always started with some moron from school picking on Kaida because she was friends with me. I sighed, suddenly feeling tired, and Konai stopped and turned, using his free hand to make me look at him.

"What's wrong?" His voice soft and kind, and he tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear. *I'm not your type and I'm all wrong for you?* I thought to myself. But I couldn't say that. I wanted to be his type. I wanted to be what he wanted, and I didn't even know what that was. So I lied. "I'm just worried about Kaida too, I hope it works out for her and Little Joe."

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