Chapter 19 ~ Havi

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Chapter 19 ― Havi

It felt somehow like a dream, a perfect dream and I feared that any moment someone was going to burst into the room and ruin everything, waking me up to realise nothing was real, that Louis wasn’t there in my flat with me, with his arms tightly around me, his warm breath in my ear whilst we were watching a rerun of Friends on the telly. It felt so natural to be there with him doing something as mundane as watching the telly, being cuddling there on the sofa whilst laughing at the crazy lives of the protagonists of the show.

Louis had turned off his mobile after sending a text to Harry saying that he was going to be late. We just wanted to be together and be left in peace for a couple of hours at least, just enjoying the moment. We talked about what we were getting into a lot, especially what it meant for me to be with him. He hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend or any kind of serious thing, but it was implicit and we talked about going out together somewhere, but it was hard to find a place to go without calling any attention from the media. So, at least, at the beginning it was going to be in his flat, mine or the radio station. And I was okay with that.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to be with a popstar, I always knew that and it was one of the reasons why I fought my feelings for him when we met, but how could I quit to be with him for taking the easy way? I felt like everything was worth it as long as I could be like this with him. As long as I had him, I could ignore and deal with all the shit someone wanted to throw at me.

It still felt so surreal to know that Louis felt the same way I did, that he indeed looked at me the way I wanted him to. I wanted to laugh at myself for not noticing it before, for being in denial for so long. Maybe if I had told him how I felt from the beginning, all my confusion and heartache might’ve been avoided.

Well, for sure I got a lesson out of all this: to take a risk if I wanted something. In this case, someone.

The good thing, we were finally together, I could openly –but not in public yet– show my feelings for him. I could hug him if I wanted, hold his hand and even kiss him because I knew he felt the same way. I couldn’t ask for anything better. It wasn’t perfect because of course I wanted to be able to go outside without worrying about what the paparazzi might say about us, or without worrying about the fans’ reaction. Of course I wanted normality in my life, but everything in life came with a price and if this was the one I had to pay to be with Louis, then I was ready to do it. I believed I could take it. I just had to ignore whatever the crazy and obsessive fans said about me and carry on with my life. It couldn’t be that hard, right?

“I was thinking,” Louis spoke breaking through my thoughts. “How do you deal with your job and uni? And even more now with the contest. Can you handle all this? I’m kinda worried.” I smiled at his concern and kissed his cheek softly.

“I’m just taking a few classes this term and it’s not that hard for me, I mean, the classes. Sometimes I have many readings and I fear that I won’t be able to do everything, but somehow I always manage to hand in my papers and stuff in time and I do quite well in the exams as well,” I explained to him with a smile and entwining our fingers together. “Now things are more complicated with the contest, but I have Joy and we are a great team.”

“You’re incredible,” he whispered with a warm and ever so cute smile that made my heart beat faster and my dinosaurs cooed. Those were a very special lot. “That’s a lot to manage.”

“Thanks,” I replied cuddling into him a bit more. “What you do is impressive too. With this whole contest I’ve really seen the impact you have on so many lives. That must be a huge pressure.”

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