Chap. 30

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I was miserable.

This was everything I’d ever dreamed of, everything I’d ever aspired for, and I was miserable. And it was all my fault.

So I did the only thing I knew to do, I got dressed and went for a run. The cool wind of the crisp morning blew across my face as I started out with a light jog. I took in a deep breath, letting it out as I speeded up until I was flying.

I don’t know how long I ran for, and I’m not sure why I stopped. But I found myself slowing to a stop in the middle of an open field. There were a few scattered trees, but it looked like a nice place for a picnic or a pickup game of soccer.

I thought back on all my choices lately, the poor decisions I’d made that led me to where I was today.

Last night had been the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics, and it had been surreal for me. I was here, in London, for the 2012 Olympics. I was one of the chosen three from the entire United States chosen to represent my nation.

My journey here had been long and hard, with more mountains to climb than I ever thought possible. But I was here now, so why didn’t I feel happy?

The answer was simple. Because of all the choices I’d made along the way. I wasn’t proud of them, and I was feeling the heavy weight on my chest as my conscience caught up to me.

First there was Zoe. I’d shattered her heart into a million pieces during one of the toughest times of her life, and then left her to pick them up.

Then there was Carson. I’d used him for my own convenience without giving a shit about him. He deserved so much better, and I hadn’t given it to him. I’d been the worst older brother, the worst best friend, imaginable.

And then there was my shoulder. It was pretty much dead at this point, having no use other than just taking up space. It constantly hurt, the pain sometimes so severe that it would keep me up all night.

There were so many other poor decisions I’d made, and none of them I could go back and undo.

So here I was, standing in the middle of the Olympic Village in London, England, and I couldn’t enjoy it.

Cody was right, I was a prick and an asshole. My track record, no pun intended, showed that. And all I really wanted to do was make things right.

That was the answer. I wasn’t going to be able to concentrate until I made things right.

Today I had training, but it wasn’t until late in the afternoon. I went back up to my apartment and took a quick shower. I threw on a pair of jeans and an Olympic t-shirt. I shrugged into my Olympic jacket and grabbed my phone and PDM.

I scribbled a note and left it on the counter, knowing that Samuel would be in here soon to make me breakfast. I grabbed an apple as I left, knowing that my family would have food, wherever they were.

People were milling around as I went back outside. It was a decent time to be awake, and I’m sure people had the same feelings I had. We were here, in the Olympic Village, for the 2012 Olympics. It was hard to wrap your head around.

But I wasn’t here to enjoy. I had to make things right first.

I pulled up the name of the hotel my mom had sent me and Googled the address. I left the village and called a taxi service. I was picked up within ten minutes.

I gave the driver the address, and he stared at my Olympic jacket before vigorously nodding and speeding off.

“So what’s your event?” he asked.

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