Levi x Reader - Lonely Day - [AU]

Such a lonely day

And it's mine

The most loneliest day of my life

Levi woke up just like he has for the past two weeks, cold. There was no warmth in his bed any longer, his body simply a frigid vessel now. Eyelids were forced to part, crust surrounding the edges from midnight tears. The golden rays of sunshine beaming down on him were cruel, as if to mock his current situation. The sunshine was nonexistent in his life now, the best his heart could hope for was a dreary overcast. He sighed, knowing he had to get up now and face reality. His dreams are long gone, and aching muscles remind him of this as he rises up from the comfort of his bed.

 

Such a lonely day

Should be banned

It's a day that I can't stand

    Once he stepped inside the shower, he stood there alone with his thoughts, once again reminded of his unfortunate situation. Feminine body gels and conditioners remained in their same position, Levi unable to soil then with his touch. Even something as trivial as bath stuff was precious to him, and he refused to touch it. Hot watered poured down on his pale skin, causing him to be red tinted from head to toe. You used to call him a lobster when he was like this, but the joke wasn't so funny anymore. Not without you here.

 

The most loneliest day of my life

The most loneliest day of my life

    The tea was...cold. Well actually, it was boiling hot, but Levi couldn't process the warm sensation on his lips and tongue. Everything seemed to blur together nowadays, tastes, sights, sounds. Things now were was melancholy and monochrome, a deeper sense or purpose unseen to him now. His face felt heavy, as if it were going to drop into his tea reflection any second now. Things weren't right without your laughter. Nothing was right without seeing your beautiful face in the morning to him. What used to be the kick start to his day was now something that made him want to curl up into a ball and cry in the corner. His glazed eyes looked at the timer on the coffee maker. 8:34, that's four minutes after the time it was when he first met you. It was time for him to go to work, and he only hoped he could make it through today without thinking too much on what used to be.

Such a lonely day

Shouldn't exist

It's a day that I'll never miss

        How could he sit here and do this. How could he possible sit here finish this report for his damn boss without getting your advice on it first? He couldn't. It felt incomplete, and it felt like shit to him. His hands began to tremble violently, seeing your signature on one of the papers. He took short, shallow breaths, his face contorting into an unpleasant look. This was triggering, and it was something he still wasn't mentally ready for. With loud searing swear words, he threw the report files against the wall, papers flying everywhere at the rough contact. Hearing the sudden outburst, his boss walked in on him, his face buried in the palms of his hands. A sniffle sound escaped, indicating to the man what was going on.

Such a lonely day

And it's mine

The most loneliest day of my life

    He walked down the street with a dead gaze, eyes hollow as if they saw no images at all. His pride and ego were shot down, embarrassed that his superior saw him in such a feeble state. He felt weak for getting two weeks off work for a mental health vacation. He was grateful he didn't get fired, but to be at home? Without you? That was the ultimate torture. At least at work he was forced to think about other things. Now the fog in his head would thicken, plaguing him mind with thoughts of you. Even in being surrounded by so many people on the crowded sidewalk, he felt more lonely that he ever had in his life.

 

And if you go, I wanna go with you

And if you die, I wanna die with you

    Sitting in his favorite chair, he downed some strong whiskey straight from the bottle. It burned his throat tremendously, but it took his mind off other things. For just a little while, he forgot you were gone. For just a little while, he forgot you were dead. Everything was an incoherent blur of colors, his mind unable to paint a picture of his current suroundings. His mouth hung slightly opened, needing to breath and consume more toxic alcohol. He wanted to die, he really did. Maybe he could meet you on the other side, or maybe he would just become blackness, forgetting he even had a life to begin with. Either way, he wanted the pain to end, because everyday without you seemed to become worse and worse.

Take your hand and walk away

    Silent tears fell to a soft pillow, now stained with tears and traces of saliva from past late night sobbing sessions. This was the time, the time to let everything out without holding back. Puffy red eyes secreted the saltwater solution, lip quivering at his desperation for you. Where were you? Why weren't you here to hug him and tell him it's gonna be ok? When will you come back to him? He once again slipped into fantasy land, his cries eventually rocking him to sleep and carrying him to his soothing dreams.

The most loneliest day of my life

The most loneliest day of my life

The most loneliest day of my life

Life

    His eyes cracked open the next day, sun still unforgiving and birds singing their disgusting song. It was time to repeat this hell all again, and torn up hole Levi once called a heart ached once more. 

Such a lonely day

And it's mine

It's a day that I'm glad I survived