Hells Angel

Part 21

Tick, Tock.

Tick, Tock.

The clock kept beating as I felt a million thoughts flood through my mind, wiping out every sense of reason I had left.

Matt was talking but I wasn't listening. I couldn't hear him, I couldn't hear anything except the ringing that was piercing through my brain. That and the clock on the wall, which never failed to stop ticking.

I had to do something. I couldn't let Nash walk out of my life. Not now.

This stupid fucking joke had gone too far. I wasn't supposed to actually fall for him. I had been angry. I wanted revenge, I wanted to hurt him. But now that I had seen the hurt in his eyes, the tears getting caught in his eyelashes as he desperately tried to blink them away. I knew I was wrong.

Hurting him was the worst decision I had ever made.

I needed to fix this. I fucking had to.

I didn't realises I was getting off the couch until my two feet were planted firmly on the ground.

Matts eyes locked with mine and his head leaned to the side as confusion graced his face.

"What're you doing?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Matt I really like you, and I don't want you to get hurt by me, I don't want anyone else to get hurt by me, and I've fucked up big time, but there's something I really have to do." I quickly explained, hoping he'd catch on. He swallowed and eyed me once again, but he nodded.

I didn't look back as I headed straight for the door, pushing it open and not bothering to close it behind me. His car was still in the drive, so I knew he couldn't be far.

I ran against the wind, the cold air whipping my skin. I figured I deserved the punishment.

My eyes desperately searched the deserted streets. How far could he have walked?

I called his name but the air got trapped in my lungs, which were burning as my feet pelted against the ground.

It wasn't long until I saw a dark figure, slumped and walking slowly.

A surge of pure energy ran through my veins as I sprinted up to him, terrified that he might disappear before I could apologise.

"Nash!" I called out as I closed in on him.

He spun around just to have me collide head on with him, almost knocking him over as I held onto him for dear life. Basking in his warmth.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, wide eyed.

"I'm fucking sorry okay?" I said before he could stop me, "I'm sorry for making you leave and I'm sorry for using you. Over the past few weeks you have come to mean more to me than you could ever imagine and godammit Nash, I choose you. Not Matt, not Jack or Aaron or anyone else. You."

He looked at me wide eyed, the breath leaving his chest, a breath he had been holding for far too long. And a faint smile ghosted on his lips, "You want to know why I bullied you for so long?"

My eyes widened at his words and he took that as a means to carry on.

"I never hated you, how could I ever?" He asked his thumb coming to rub small circles on my cheek. "I used to see you by the trees outside, as cheesy as it sounds, you would sit there, reading your books and eating your lunch, and I fell in love with everything about you. I loved the way your eyes lit up as you read, the way you licked your lips each time you turned a new page, the way you got so into everything about it. The passion you showed towards something so simple. I'd never seen anything like it." He breathed.

"I wanted to know you," He continued, "I wanted to know everything about you. I wanted to know your favourite colour, I wanted to know what you thought about the world, fuck I even wanted to know your favourite pizza topping. But I was so fucking scared to talk to you. How could I even interest you? How could I talk to someone like you? How could I grab your attention? I was so completely captivated by you. Hell, I even drew you in my notebook."

I gasped at the realisation. I knew I had seen that girl in his book before. I just never knew where. Who would've guessed that I saw her in the mirror everyday.

"But then I started to be mean to you," His eyes grew dark at the thought, "I hated myself for it but it was the only way I could talk to you, to be with you. I figured having you loathe me, having you think about unique ways to kill me every second was better than not having you think about me at all. Because I knew you would never love me. Not like the way I loved you.

The way I still love you."

My heart skipped a million beats. Every shattered piece he had torn from me before was suddenly put back, mended by this blue eyed boy I had grown to love.

I grabbed his shirt and smashed his lips to mine.

"I fucking love you Nash Grier."

He smiled into my mouth and I knew then that I would rather scream and fight with him than have a functional relationship with anyone else. Every harsh word he could mend with a kiss. It would be long, hard path to pure heaven. But I could make it.

After all, I had Hell's Angel by my side.