Chapter 20: Official

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Kayla's POV

"One more," I slur watching as Alyssa grabbed the bottle of mango rum and poured almost half of the bottle into the gigantic solo cup. She took a bottle of fruit punch and mixed it into the rum to create a fantastic tasting concoction.

"Are you sure you should drink another one of these?" Alyssa asked, her brows pulling together in skepticism.

Instead of answering her I grab the cup and begin to down the drink. Half way through I sit the cup aside and frown.

"Fuck Landon fucking Robinson. He broke up with me after I broke up with him. Who does shit like that? And it's his birthday. Happy fucking birthday to that dickhead."

I grabbed the cup again and downed the remainder of the drink. "I should call him. I should fucking call him and give him a piece of my mind. Fuck him, man."

"No, you should definitely NOT call him."

"But I love him. Why doesn't he love me back? Maybe he's right. Maybe love doesn't exist and maybe I'm just trying to cling on to him because I don't want to be lonely."

"Don't say that. Don't let Landon put thoughts like that into your head."

"But it's true!" I exclaim. "He doesn't love me. My father didn't love my mother. They wouldn't have left if they did. He would've said it back if he did." I couldn't control what was coming out of my mouth. Whatever came to mind came out of my mouth. I felt myself becoming sad at the thought of my father and Landon not loving me.

"They don't love me." I begin to sob silently to myself as I felt my chest hurting. Tears fell down my cheeks as the realization hit me. "I want them to love me, but they don't."

"Kayla..." Alyssa trailed off a pained look in her eyes. "Listen sweetheart." She took a seat beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder in an effort to comfort me. "Landon. Your dad. Jake. They are all assholes. They surely don't deserve our tears so we are not going to cry about them. We are going to move on and we are going to be happy. That means no more drinking."

"No more drinking? But it's such a tasty drink?"

"Yes it is. Now put the cup down and stop crying." She reached up to my face and brushed a tear away from my cheek.

"Fuck Landon."

"Fuck Landon," she repeated back to me and smiled. I nod and sit my cup back on the table. Just as I did so I felt my stomach turning in response to my quick intake of alcohol. I covered my mouth as I gagged before I darted towards her bathroom. I fall to my knees and duck my head into the toilet just as vomit comes spewing from my mouth and my nose. Alyssa appeared behind me and gently began rubbing my back and comforting me as I hurled profusely into the toilet. Finally after several minutes my stomach settled and I leaned back against the wall of the bathroom.

"Fuck Landon," I say one last time before I felt myself becoming unconscious.

***

"Never. Fucking. Again," I groan as I lay beside Alyssa and stare intensely up at the ceiling. It was still the weekend so luckily we didn't have school today. I was glad because I didn't think I'd be able to make it through the day otherwise.

"Yeah, I figured you'd be saying something like that," Alyssa chuckled turning on her side to look at me. Getting that drunk was a bad idea. I forgot what happened after my first solo cup. I had been drinking razeberitas and taking shots before that.

"Did I call Landon?"

"No, I made sure of that."

"Good," I mumble and turn over on my side as a swirling feeling encompasses me and I begin to feel nauseous.

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