I Can't Be The Alpha's Mate

Chapter 4- All True

I stared at the closed door, my fingers touching my lips. The residual tingling from his touch was still on my skin.

I still couldn't wrap my mind around it all. The man making me feel like I was going to melt into a puddle was also a killer, and yet, that's not how I felt. Were the stories about him even true? I'd seen some anger in him, and I could tell he was tense, I'd felt the tension running through him since he first touched me, but I hadn't seen that killer side. At least not yet.

If they weren't true then how would the stories have come about? I wondered. Stories have to have some truth behind them.

The question became, if he was the man of those stories, just how far was I willing to blur my moral line for a man I barely even knew? And was it worth it to risk what might come out inside?

I had decided to give him a chance, he deserved at least that much. In the meantime, I could try to get to the bottom of Rafe Granger, to figure out who this man was and what he was about.

I slid off the dresser and poked my head out into the hall. I smelled food back in the den and my stomach rumbled. It had been almost a whole day since I'd eaten anything and I was starving.

I was searching the kitchen for food when I heard two girls talking through the open bar separating the kitchen from the living room.

"Did you hear? Apparently they found some girl at the edge of our territory last night. A rogue. She practically begged Kyle to do her."

The girl she was talking to made a disgusted sound. "She probably got kicked out of her last pack. Probably for banging every guy she came across. Like we need another pack slut here."

"I know right, I hope they just do away with her."

I nearly slammed the cabinet door shut at their words. I wanted to storm out there and confront whoever it was. How dare they say anything about me when they didn't even know who I was. And who in the hell started this rumor that I begged Kyle to do me?

The guy jumped me! I tried to get away from the creep, and I had the bruises to prove it.

I felt tears burn my eyes and I bit my lip trying to hold them back. I should have known it would be a waste of time trying to find a new pack. It didn't matter where I went, no one would want to know me.

But what about our mate? It was the first time my wolf had actually spoken up since she warned me about the men approaching. I could feel her when I had met my mate, but she hadn't really been vocal.

It was true, we had found our mate, but then again, he didn't exactly seem to be mate material.

What are you talking about? He's strong, he's a leader, he was made just for us. She retaliated.

That was also true. He, along with his wolf was made to fit perfectly with me and mine. He was our other half in this. And yet, he scared me. Kali was unfazed by him however.

Well, unphased wasn't exactly the right word for it. She was completely into him.

I spread some peanut butter on some bread and went back through the den, stomping past the two bitches who had dared to talk about me.

I could feel their eyes on the back of my head, and I could nearly hear their shock when they saw me go down the hall and straight into Rafe's room. No doubt it just reaffirmed their suspicions though. I was a slut who had given myself to-no-who had begged Kyle and their alpha to do me.

I rolled my eyes at what they would be saying. There was no way anyone would be doing me. Not even the Alpha. I didn't care if he was my mate or not, I still wasn't ready for anything like that. Especially not until I had made my decision about him.

I had looked at the book shelf in his room for quite some time before I settled into the bed. I couldn't fall asleep though. The sheets smelled like him, the scent constantly filling my nostrils. I was in his bed, he would be coming back to it.

I would be in the same room as him again, in the same bed as him. We would be sharing the same space. I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it.

As my brain went crazy with all of these thoughts, I heard the door open and Rafe walked into the room. I felt him as he sat on the bed, I could feel his eyes on me. I pretended to sleep, hoping that he would just go to bed too, and that I could just wait to face the questions tomorrow.

"I can hear your heart beating, Katarina. It's not slow enough for you to be asleep." His hand lightly stroked my arm.

I bit my lip against the feeling while deciding whether I should just keep quite, or fess up and talk to him. I didn't want him to think I was rejecting him, then again how could he think that when I was lying in his bed? But it still didn't feel right to ignore him and keep silent.

I rolled over and faced him, my hands running absentmindedly over the silky sheets.

"Yeah."

"Why were you trying to pretend you were asleep, my Katarina?"

My Katarina, the words and slight accent from him did something to me.

"I-I don't know."

"Did you not want to see me, did you not want to talk to me?"

That was essentially what I had wanted, wasn't it? But it wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him. I just didn't know how. I didn't know what to say to him, I didn't know what to expect. To say that I had never been in a relationship would be obvious. It's hard to be in a relationship when no one acknowledges your existence.

"I don't know," I said again, whispering the words.

He frowned at that.

I decided now would be as good a time as any. If he were already frowning, not liking what I had to say, then why not just go for it?

"Where I came from, I heard stories about you. That were-" I struggled to find the right word to finish the sentence. Scary? Less than pleasant? Horrific? It didn't seem like any of those words really did the stories any justice.

I thought about it after the question was really out. Did I even want to know the answer tonight when I was going to be sleeping in the same room, the same bed as this person? Would it scare me even more if I knew the stories were true? Or would it comfort me to know that they weren't? What if I found myself sleeping next to a killer? I held my breath waiting for his answer.

Rafe just shrugged, his eyes staring at me. I knew he could smell the fear, and he knew the reputation that he held among our kind. "They're probably all true."

They were probably all true? So I was going to be sleeping next to a killer after all. Great. Not that much sleeping would probably be done. It would be staring at the ceiling, biting my nails, hoping no blood spilled in the middle of the night.

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There's the next chapter! Apparently everything is probably true, at least that's what Rafe says.

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