You Took It All Away

Chapter 32: Jane

A/N: I hope I didn't make you wait too long. I had to break the chapter into two since it was too long. I promise the next one shouldn't take too long. Enjoy!

Rated R for Mature themes. Please be warned. 

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                              Chapter 32: Jane

                December, 2007

I knew he wasn’t joking. The harsh look on his face along with the shadow that glommed over his pools indicated just how serious his words were. I knew the intention behind his demand, waiting for me to agree with him so he won’t touch me.

Yet, it was upsetting after the kisses he had shared with me, how he clearly underestimated my will power to give in to his cruelty. If it weren’t for the situation I would have laughed.

“Can we at least move to the bedroom?” I asked him quietly as his fingers lingered impatiently on my shirt.

He seemed taken back by my words, almost like he wasn’t expecting me to give in and agree so quickly. A feeling of pure smugness overtook me as I looked at the surprised expression of his face.

If sleeping with him one last time was my freedom card I would be more than happy to oblige. This would indicate an end; the last moment of weakness that this intimacy brought.

“I’m serious,” he whispered, drawing my attention back to him. “There’s no going back. No crying or begging me stop,” he warned.

I nodded at him, and stepped back from his grip on my forearms. “Sebastian, this is my job,” I reminded him as nonchalantly as I could. “Isn’t that what you’ve bought me for in the first place?”

“For fucks sake, Jane,” he hissed in frustration. “Don’t to do this,” he pleaded, dropping the guard in his eyes. “Don’t ruin the beginning we tried so hard to create.”

“You mean, the beginning you tried so hard to create,” I corrected him, ignoring the painful tug in my chest. There was no way I’d back off now.

“I love you,” he uttered lowly, disbelief covering his blue eyes that were directly staring into my own. “Damn it, Jane,” he cursed. “Don’t do this to me. Don’t make into the a monster I’m trying so hard not to be.”

Guilt washed over me as his words struck another painful arrow into my heart. “I hate you,” I responded, avoiding that adoration in his eyes, the self-loathing inside of me. “So get this over with so Elena can quickly come home already.”

He stared at me for a long time, searching for the lie I created to sacrifice myself. Defiantly, I glared back at him, masking every emotion within me, praying he would not see the vulnerability.

Then without a word, I felt his hand back on my body, travelling north until his fingers captured my cheeks and pulled me into a desperate soul-crushing kiss.

I didn’t hesitate to respond, not wanting to show him how weak I was against him. If he thought his touch would break me, he was deathly wrong.

I savoured his taste in my mouth, letting my tongue explore the path inside it, moving my lips in such urgency I feared he’d disappear.

After today, the Jane he had desperately tried to bring back would be gone. The girl he claimed to love would no longer be. After today, she would no longer belong to him. She’d belong to Varo like she’d always belonged to Varo.

I pulled away before letting the bitter emotion consume me and moved my hand along his chest, unbuttoning his shirt.

His mouth led into my neck, sucking greedily onto my pulse point while holding onto the back of my neck possessively. “I love you,” he whispered again, this time to my ear, forcing a lump to form in the back of my throat.