Sugar Rush

20- I'm Responsible For You

20

But I didn’t let it get that far.

No, we didn’t kiss. Almost, yes, but it never happened.

I was too much of a chicken to let that happen. Just as when he leaned in to close the tiny space in between us, I turned away, moving away from him at the same time so he wouldn’t kiss my cheek or my hair. My lips were quivering as I did so. My body was trembling but I thank the heavens it wasn’t obvious.

I was terrified; too much of a coward to let someone kiss me after seven years.

His hand left my thigh as he sighed from behind me and I could feel him shift around so he was facing in front again where the waters were and where Liam and Allie were collecting seashells.

“It’s getting pretty late.” I muttered, scrapping my drawing on the ground with on swipe of my hand. “We should go back and get some rest. We still have to get back home.”

I stood up and dusted off the sand that had got caught to my dress and stuck on my skin.  I didn’t look back at Blake and just kept my face straight. My face had started to cool down but that doesn’t mean I’m still not affected by the incident that had happened just a few seconds ago.

A warm hand grabbed my forearm pulling me to a stop. He said nothing; I said nothing. We both stayed silent as I waited for him to say something but nothing came. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I didn’t even know what I was going to say

 After a few more seconds his grip on me tightened a little before he let go of me and I resumed right away to walking where Liam and Allie were collecting shells.

The elevator doors open revealing the hallway to our rooms. I didn’t hesitate on stepping out of the box with Liam in my arms. I didn’t talk to Blake as we made our way to the hotel and to the elevators. I didn’t make eye contact with him, and as much as possible stayed a good yard away from him like he carrying some kind of contagious disease.

I placed Liam on the ground as I slipped the card key in the door lock. A second later, it clicked and the tiny light glowed green, unlocking the door. I pushed it open and Liam ran inside. I was about to do the same when Blake’s hand wrapped around my arm, preventing me from doing so.

“Bethany.”

I gave a light nod in response but he said nothing. I still refused to look at him.

“Bethany.” This time his voice was deeper and held authority, telling me to look at him or else.

I gathered up all of my courage- which wasn’t much in the very beginning- and turned around to look at him. He didn’t seem impressed by my childish behavior.

“Blake.” I said trying to sound normal but it ended up with me sounding like a squirrel on helium to which Allie giggled to.

He paused and opened his mouth to say something but closed it, debating on himself on what to say. After a moment or so, he sighed and pursed his lips on a thin line before speaking.

“Good night Bethany.”

“Good night!” Allie squealed in his arms.

“Good night Allie.” I smiled at her and then turned to her father and in a small, tired voice, I said, “Good night Blake.”

He let go of his grasp on me and I walk in the room and closed the door behind me. Liam was already asleep on the bed with his feet hanging off at the edge. His little plastic bag filled with an assortment of seashells sat comfortable on the side table.