The Rookie (manxmen)**Hothouse Book 1**

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

(Rope Rescue Training----->)

**A/N- all of this chapter is in Nate's POV***

My heart thumped in my chest as I crossed the parking lot of Thad's station house. He had called me earlier this morning and he was barely able to speak. He was so excited as he told me that he aced his evaluation, and that he was now a really and truly part of Ladder 29's crew. And I am so happy for him, this was all he ever wanted to be, even after our father died in the line of duty. Becoming a firefighter was his passion. And I knew he thought that I coveted a position with his crew but I really wasn't the case. What I really wanted was to get enough field experience under my belt in order to get my foot in the door at the Fire Marshall's office. I wanted to go back to school to obtain my degree in forensics, and hopefully I will be able to become a Marshall myself. That's what I wanted, I wanted to study the beast and know the how and why the fire operates the way it does. I wanted to be the one to investigate the origin and ultimately the cause. I wanted to prevent them from happening in the first place. Now, you want to know why my heart is trying to fly out of my chest?

I had been avoiding Xavier a much as possible, other than to calling him to warn the chief about my mother, I hadn't really initiated any other contact with him. I couldn't think straight when he was anywhere near me, and I wanted to really think about his lifestyle choice and the dynamics of his relationship with Robbie. Deep in my heart, I wanted everything he had promised, I wanted to give up my control and all the stress of coming to terms with my sexuality. Even now, guys from my own station house used words, like fags, queers, booty snatchers, and the one term that pissed me off to no end, mud packer. I mean, I wasn't going to suddenly start marching in a pride parade, and it was only a few weeks ago that those hateful phrases spewed out of my own mouth. And worst part of it all, they were all directed at my baby brother. My actions shamed me everytime I thought about them.

Rounding the corner of the main building, my feet to a complete stop, and I gaped up at the three story practice structure that they had erected beyond their basketball court. Their impressive ladder truck was on full display, and the ladder was raised high in the air above the roof, and none other than my little bro was dangling from the end of the rope in full gear. Thad was hanging practically upside down over the roof as he expertly strapped a practice dummy onto the rescue gurney. That boy was a natural, he made it look so easy, and all of his crew's attention was on him, especially that of his man. When my eyes found Chief Garrison, I had to do a double take.  He was shirtless, the top part of his coveralls were tied around his waist and his thick arms were crossed over his massive chest as he craned his neck to watch his man. It had to be in the water around this place, there was just to much mouth watering manliness in one spot.

 I stood a little away from the group so that I could get a better view of what Thad was doing, and where I was positioned gave me a better advantage to discreetly search the gathered group for Xavier's broad shoulders. My eyes made contact with Robbie's pretty blue ones and he smiled and waved at me. I couldn't help the grin that split across my face. He was so exuberant with me now, and I couldn't help but preen a little with that knowledge. Robbie's returned his attention to Thad and I wondered where Xavier was, but I didn't want to be obvious about my interest in the big man by asking about his whereabouts. I refused to let myself get disappointed about his apparent absence and I tipped my head back to watch proudly as my baby bro went through his training like a bad ass, that was until I felt a  big body align itself against my back.

Xavier's unique scent surrounded me, and the heat radiating off his huge frame immobilized me completely. It was like I was under the influence of a paralytic agent. He just stood there pressed against me, and he uttered not one word. I had no idea what he was waiting for. I didn't know he if expected to me to move or to say something. I was immediately riddled with doubt, and I began to fidget. But my stubborn feet still refused to step away from the man. I was about to open my mouth to say something, anything that would break the nervous anxiety that was slowly crippling my mind and body. I almost jumped out of my skin when he placed his large palm on the back of my neck and my traitorous immediately relaxed and my heart skipped a beat.