Blurry is the Line Between Love and Lust: A Tears of Shame Novel [EDITING]

Chapter 31: Scarred

Ok... PLEASE VOTE & COMMENT!!!

If this chapter doesn't get you teary... I don't know what will. The last half of the chapter will seem strange and out of place, but these are the only details you will get about the situation... it is needed to set up future events in the sequel, which is already planned out but not yet written!

Please enjoy! :)

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Recap chap 30:

"Please excuse me." I choked out, and never made eye contact with Gena. I shot a quick glance at Xavier and Ronan and swiftly started for my room. It had all been too much, way too much. Everything that had happened had been too much for me to have handled. This latest development was just the catalyst for my crazed, worried, depression riddled reaction. How could I have lied about everything? How could I have pretended that it all would have been okay?

The ominous feeling I once had, returned with a vengeance and this time, it never left.

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Chapter 31: Scarred

Arianna POV

I sat in the room teary eyed for all of two minutes, the time it would have taken one or both them to have come for me. I knew they would have come after my abrupt departure. It just seemed like an eternity until someone finally arrived. Ronan had come first and settled next to me on the bed. I really hadn't figured he'd be the one. In a way I wanted him here, but in a way I hadn't wanted him here at all.

My feelings were so confused, once again. I really loved him still. I hadn't wanted to be with him again, but I just couldn't have brought myself to let him go either. He was a part of me and I felt such a strong need to have kept him in my life, whether or not he was my child's father. I was the most pathetic being on the planet, no doubt about that!

"Aria look, if this is about what I said about the baby before..." I stopped him. I had other things on my mind. The baby was the least of my worries at that moment.

"I'm not the first to come between you two? Do you guys enjoy sharing lovers... or just bragging about your conquests?" I shot daggers at him. It was harsh but I hadn't been the least bit sorry. I had been upset and particularly hormonal that day, especially after Xavier's fat joke.

"What is this about?" He was puzzled. Had there really been that many? So many that he had lost count. He was only 23, surely the numbers couldn't have been that high! I guessed I would have to refresh his memory then.

"Genavieve." I used it like a profanity. She deserved it. She really bothered me. I felt the anger welled inside me.

"Oh, that." He looked guilty, like he'd just broken a vase and swept it under the rug so he wouldn't have gotten caught and into trouble. He really had some nerve. He brushed it off like it was nothing, offered no explanation what so ever. This annoyed more than anything.

"Yes that!" I glared at him. I was so angry and hurt now that I couldn't have contained it. I had no right to an explanation, but I felt that I was owed one on account of the fact that I possibly carried his child and all the rest considered.

"Look, it was just a fling. It only happened a few times, no harm done." He shrugged casually as though she really hadn't mattered to him at all. Had that made it better or worse? I doubted that Xavier had felt that same about his casual 'no harm done' attitude. Especially since a pattern had recently emerged.

"So do you make it a habit of going after your brother's women? Was I just some sick game to you? Maybe Zander was right all along." I was angry, so furious that my body tensed and trembled. How could he have done this me? How could he have made me love him, even after he raped me? Did he ever care for me at all?