This Glorious and Ruined Self
My son sits at his high school
Graduation dance and leans forward
Eager for what comes next
I want to hold him
Tell him everything will be okay
He doesn't dance
But sits while friends visit
Later we pose for a photograph
And when I look at it
The privacy of that moment
Eludes the camera.
Later we wait for the C train
And Calgary darkens to
The same burdened traffic
And end of day rush
Of any modern city
He is in flight from me
At an ever greater speed
He fits in his own life best
I don't know his wishes
Like I once did
And still on days like this
Just being his father is enough.
Each young life starts slow
And then gains momentum
As dreams unearth
The dangerous parts
On the C train I discover
The man he will be
In the quick smile he gives me
Before we get off
I come up short
What I've planned to say
No longer rings true
Instead we walk
In the freshly made dark
Overhead a few brighter stars
Penetrate the city's canopy
And I want to pitch a rock
And knock one from its perch
Make one more wonder between us
Before I let him go.