This Glorious and Ruined Self by Robert Hilles

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This Glorious and Ruined Self

My son sits at his high school

Graduation dance and leans forward

Eager for what comes next

I want to hold him

Tell him everything will be okay

He doesn't dance

But sits while friends visit

Later we pose for a photograph

And when I look at it

The privacy of that moment

Eludes the camera.

Later we wait for the C train

And Calgary darkens to

The same burdened traffic

And end of day rush

Of any modern city

He is in flight from me

At an ever greater speed

He fits in his own life best

I don't know his wishes

Like I once did

And still on days like this

Just being his father is enough.

Each young life starts slow

And then gains momentum

As dreams unearth

The dangerous parts

On the C train I discover

The man he will be

In the quick smile he gives me

Before we get off

I come up short

What I've planned to say

No longer rings true

Instead we walk

In the freshly made dark

Overhead a few brighter stars

Penetrate the city's canopy

And I want to pitch a rock

And knock one from its perch

Make one more wonder between us

Before I let him go.

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