MAE DAY 2 - GUARDIANS (ON HOLD TILL FURTHER NOTICE)

Chapter 13

I stayed in the trunk as instructed. Only venturing out to use the other cave as a loo, I even moved the food into the trunk as I was sure I saw something move in the water... did they have rats here?

One morning when I woke I couldn't open the lid, I began to panic but the sway of the trunk made me realise what day it was... hunting. I tried to forced myself to stop panicking, stop feeling like I was in a coffin and breathe. I either passed out trying or fell asleep again... I wasn't quite sure.

I missed Lee's lion snore. The heaviness of his breathing. The beat of his heart. His legs flung over me as we slept. I began to wonder if I died in here would he remarry and how quickly. Would he wait a few years like he had with Suri and raise our daughter? Would he give up our children to marry someone else who insisted he have no baggage when they marry like he had with Stephanie? I tied myself in knots worrying over nothing and going insane as I lay there. Why were the last few days the longest?

Eventually the lid popped open and I was free. I jumped out and stretched my legs, desperate for the loo when a portal appeared.

"Oh my god, ahhhhhhh!" I screamed and jumped around clapping as I ran towards it like Husain Bolt.

I was here, home! I looked around the bathroom I had arrived in. Noticing the toilet, the smell of soap, and the marble of the shower. I rushed to the toilet unable to hold it anymore, marvelling at the feeling of toilet seat on my backside, who would have thought that luxury... oh my god toilet paper! Wow, it was like feathers in my hand, I even gave it a sniff, I had missed toilet roll. I peeled my clothes off, whilst sat on the loo trying to get rid of everything I have consumed in that realm. Not that I had eaten since Lee left, water was the only thing to pass my lips... water, oh my god... water out of a tap, not a bag full of river water used as a bath by god knows what.

I finished with the loo and rushed to guzzle water from the tap in the sink. It was cold, fresh and a bit bleachy but still bliss. I caught my reflection in the mirror. Amazonian meets Rastafarian. Shit, I could not see my kids like this. Turning the shower on I raced under it, the warm feeling of the shower was orgasmic as I stood there letting the stink wash away. I couldn't find any of my lady razors so used Lee's to thin out the rainforest growing all over my body. Arms, legs and Hoohar were all hairy enough to risk blocking the plug hole and so was the amount of hair I was losing whilst washing and conditioning. It took several attempts to get the knots out and even then I gave up and decided just to cut them out later with some scissors.

I felt human again as I stepped out and grabbed a towel to wrap around my hair. Another towel to wrap around myself, as I used Lee's toothbrush because mine was missing. I rushed out of the bathroom in to the bedroom to get dressed. I was still surprised Suri hadn't heard me shower and come rushing in. I opened the wardrobes and couldn't find a single item of my clothing. I pulled on a pair of Lee's boxers, a vest, sweatpants and a hoodie, before pulling a comb through my hair as I rushing down the hall barefoot with excitement.

No one was home! There I was bolting through a portal, scrubbing myself to death and rushing down to see a family who weren't even in. I had to laugh. In fact I laughed hysterically about it for several minutes as I pressed on the TV and flicked to the music channel... music, god how I missed music.

I opened the fridge and took out some bacon, eggs, orange juice, whilst shoving bread and butter in my mouth like it was candyfloss and I couldn't get enough... God I was going to eat my own weight in food if someone didn't stop me. The bacon sizzled in the pan as I impatiently guzzled the juice and made myself some tea, comparing what was best, the taste of tea or the smell of bacon... I couldn't decide. The bacon and eggs were barely on my plate before I polished them off and considered making more but heard the door. They were back... ahhhh!