I'VE SEEN HER! (COMPLETE)

Chapter 36

Seven months later and I was an auntie again. My sister gave birth to a baby boy, 7lb 9oz and cute as a button. They named him Luke as both her and her husband were Star Wars geeks, he even wore a ‘Luke, I am your father’ t-shirt during the birth. Adorable. He was a wonderful addition to our lives but still it made me wonder what could have been in the future for me and James. Would we have moved in together, got engaged, married or had children. I pushed the thoughts into the back of my mind. No sense in torturing myself.

Once my sister was able to take Luke outside she wanted to go shopping and I wanted to spoil him too. We spent a lovely morning strolling around the shops on my day off work. My niece was at nursery but I made sure to spoil her too. I envied my sister so much for her little family. Being able to hold this little boy all the time and have the man she loved, love her back and make babies with her. I was torturing myself again. I’d find someone, one day. The fact that James was the person I always pictured did not go unnoticed, but I ignored it as much as I could.

“Don’t look now,” my sister said as we sat having coffee. Who had she spotted this time? She was such a gossip. “James is over there.”

My heart nearly screamed as I looked around frantic just to catch a glimpse and see how much he had changed, or to refresh the image I had of him in my mind.

“Calm down, he has gone inside that shop. I think he is doing the refit,” she said pointing to an empty unit. “Do you want to swap sides so you can sneak a look at him?”

I thought about it, was I going to ruin all the hard work I invested over the past few months into getting over him. My lip became the tremble, my eyes burn as I fought the tears.

“Oh don’t cry,” my sister reached out to rub my arm as the tears fell and I stupidly burst into tears. “Come on, you are stronger than that. Pull yourself together.”

“Are you crying over lost love?” an old lady asked who was sat with another woman.

My sister nodded for me as I dried my tears on a napkin.

“I lost my husband 16 weeks ago to cancer, after 64 years of marriage. That is the only way you should lose love and even then he fought it as long as he could.”

My sister and I both stared in awe as the tears dried on my cheeks.

“When my husband and I were courting, he would walk 7 miles every day, there and back again just to see me for an hour or even five minutes on the door step if my father wouldn’t let me out,” she smiled at the memory. “When I went on holiday with my parents for two weeks to the countryside he walked twenty three miles one day just to see me. When I saw him across the field I ran like the wind into his arms forgetting all about my father watching us. I hugged and kissed him because the ache in my heart would only stop once I did. The poor boy was exhausted. When I turned and looked at my father, I expected him to be angry but he threw his head back and laughed. He said anyone who would walk that far to see his daughter obviously loved her and would look after her. I was 14 when I met my husband, 15 when I first let him kiss me, 16 when he asked me to marry him on bended knee and 17 when we married. I never knew how cold and lonely one side of the bed could be until he was gone, as he was always there. Until his last breath, he was always there. If your man would walk that far for you or you for him, and the only thing that can mend your broken heart is a kiss from each others lips... go get him.”

The shop had gone silent as everyone listened to her story. My sisters mouth gawping open at the woman. The sound of a drill had my head whipping around.

“Is that him?” the woman asked as I stared at James. He was side on holding a piece of wood as he drilled holes in it. “Well that isn’t twenty three miles. It’s not even twenty steps.”

I pictured myself walking over to him. What would I say? Would he ignore me or be polite and make an excuse to get away. Would he feel stalked?

“Take him a coffee,” my sister suggested.

“I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. If he wanted to see me...”

“If he walked up to you, would you feel uncomfortable?”

“No.”

“Well stop making excuses and get over there.” My sister had her no nonsense tone in her voice.

“What do I say?”

“You’ll think of something.”

I ordered the coffee and carried it to the door, looking back to my sister who was looking excitedly at me with the little old lady and her friends. I opened the door and walked out. Each step seemed too quick as I tried to think of what I would say to him. I looked back at my sister again, she shooed my on with a wave. When I turned back around I was a couple of steps from him with only the crowd in between us. The crowd cleared and there he was. Jeans, t-shirt, dark hair, tanned biceps, sawdust covered and sweaty as his strong hands lifted wood panels with ease. His back to me I placed the coffee on his workbench. When he turned around, he froze the moment he set eyes on me.

“Hi,” I smiled and pointed to the coffee. “I was just having a girly day with my sister when we spotted you over here. We thought you might like a coffee.” I pointed back to the shop, stupidly drawing his attention to the crowd now at the window waving at us.

He stared at me. No saying a word. Shit, he didn’t want to see me.

“Ok, well I hope I remembered your order right. I best get back.” I hurried off back to the shop. I could see the disappointment on their faces as I returned. My sister rushing to put the baby back in his pram so we could leave. I was still shaking as we got into her car and drove home.

“Don’t worry, I am proud of you. It was a brave move and I think he was just a bit shocked to see you,” she tried to make me feel better.

“I am more worried about letting that little old lady down. She was convinced if I walked over to him I would win him back.”

“Don’t be silly, she said he looked stunned. Stunned is good. It is better than ‘ahh get away from me’, which I doubt you would get any way.”

“Well at least now I know if I see him about somewhere I can say hi and walk on without wondering ‘what if’. It’s the final nail in the coffin of that dead relationship.”

We went home, unpacked the shopping and I fussed Luke some more before heading home in my own car. When I arrived there was a card through the door with my name on it. I rushed to open it dropping my shopping like hot potatoes. On the front was a ‘Thank you’ in silver script, simple and beautiful. Inside was written,

Mel,

Thank you for the coffee, it was very thoughtful and much needed. You remembered my order correctly.

Sorry I wasn’t very talkative. It was a bit of a shock to see you after so long.

Will you let me make it up to you and take you to dinner? There is a new Italian restaurant I’d like to take you too. I’ll pick you up at 7:00.

James xxx

I was straight on the phone to my sister, both of us screaming like lunatics. Thank god I had no plans tonight. I looked at the time... oh my god I only had two hours to get ready. Bath, outfit, hair, make up... don’t panic, don’t panic... oh my god I was going on a date!